Studies show that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison so they can know when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

Many
criminal
Change to a plural noun
criminals
show examples
have a low stage of
education
which is
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
by a study. Some
people
believe that
education
is the only way to
decreases
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
and educate the
prisoners
so that they know about it.
This
essay completely
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
with
this
statement because by
gain
Replace the word
gaining
show examples
knowledge
people
can able to make
comparison
Fix the agreement mistake
comparisons
show examples
between bad and good
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
besides
, prisoner knows about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
punishment
and how a criminal
treated
Add a missing verb
are treated
show examples
by society . In the beginning, if
people
gain enough knowledge about
ehitics
Correct your spelling
ethics
and social criteria they will
thought
Change the verb form
think
show examples
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
time before occur a
crime
. It is only the power of
education
by which one can understand the difference between moral and immoral works.
People
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
to compare between what is essential for them and what
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
. It is often said that
education
shows the
ehitical
Correct your spelling
ethical
path and it makes
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
more powerful.
For example
, an educated man knows about the laws and regulations of his
country's
Change noun form
country
show examples
so he never
break
Change the verb form
breaks
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
consciously.
Furthermore
, if the
prisoners
get educated during their
punishment
time they
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
to
know
Verb problem
learn
show examples
about the rules ,the laws and the appropriate
punishment
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they get after
occured
Correct your spelling
committing
a crimes
Correct the article-noun agreement
crimes
a crime
show examples
.
It's
Correct your spelling
Its
show examples
advantage is that they never again join any bad things after
free
Add a missing verb
being free
show examples
from jail.
For example
, many
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
provides
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
common
education
and ethical
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prisoners
who
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
it and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research recently
conduct
Wrong verb form
conducted
show examples
by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
UNESCO
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
found
this
process is
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
beneficial for
prisoners
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
decreases
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
20% after a criminal knows about the
punishment
. In conclusion, it
is strongly agree
Change the verb form
is strongly agreed
show examples
that
education
is the effective purpose to rise
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
crime
levels and when a prisoner
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
educated he does not dare to
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
again.
Submitted by tanakchakma55 on

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Grammar and Spelling
Try to avoid spelling errors and focus on accurate grammar usage to make your essay more professional. For instance, 'Many criminal have a low stage of education which is showed by a study.' could be corrected to 'Many criminals have a low level of education, as shown by studies.'
Sentence Structure and Vocabulary
Enhance your essay by using a variety of sentence structures and enriching your vocabulary. This not only makes your writing more engaging but also demonstrates your language competence. For example, instead of repeating 'educate' and 'knowledge,' consider synonyms like 'instruct,' 'teach,' 'awareness,' and 'understanding.'
Supporting Examples
When providing examples, ensure they are detailed and directly support your main points. For example, mentioning specific prison education programs and their outcomes can strengthen your argument.
Position Clarity
You presented a clear stance throughout the essay, maintaining consistency in your agreement with the statement.
Essay Structure
Good job on structuring your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization helps in presenting your ideas logically.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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