IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Poverty
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 is a pressing issue faced by a lot of
countries
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 in the entire world, especially developing
countries
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. Developed
countries
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 usually give money to undeveloped
countries
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,
however
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, it may not solve
poverty
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 and I strongly believe there should be transformation to resolve in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ways that give other types of help to the poor
countries
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 rather than financial
aid
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.
Firstly
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, education is the best key to the growth of any population. If people have training overseas, it will lead to creating employment and they will sell their national products and services.
For instance
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, in Mongolia, people were sent to China
last
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 year for training in making clothes.
However
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, now they make clothes and export them abroad.
Moreover
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, developed
countries
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 can offer expertise and resources to help build infrastructure,
improve
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and improve
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 healthcare systems.
Secondly
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, financial
aid
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 does not reach the people who need it and often ends up in the hands of corrupt governments or institutions. In many poor
countries
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, corruption and mismanagement are rampant, misallocating wealth and perpetuating
poverty
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.
In addition
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, financial
aid
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 often comes with strings attached
such
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 as imposing policies that favor the interests of donor
countries
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 over those of recipients.
This
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 can lead to the exploitation of resources and
exploitation
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the exploitation
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 of the poor.  In conclusion,
while
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 it is a
good-willed
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goodwill
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 gesture, financial
aid
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 alone is not the solution to
poverty
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 in developing
countries
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.
Instead
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, developed
countries
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 should focus on alternative forms of
aid
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 that help impoverished
countries
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 become self-reliant and address underlying problems
such
Linking Words
 as corruption and dependency.

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introduction structure
Try to introduce both sides of the argument more clearly in your introduction to set a balanced perspective before stating your own.
example elaboration
While you've supported your points with examples, try to elaborate a bit more on those examples to showcase a deeper analysis.
linking phrases
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
counterargument
To further strengthen your argument, discuss the potential limitations or counterarguments against your stance and refute them. This adds depth to your analysis.
stance clarity
You provided a clear stance on the topic from the beginning, which is excellent for task response.
effective conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your argument, reinforcing your stance effectively.
use of examples
You've used relevant examples to justify your points, which enhances the credibility of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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