IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#safety #roads #punishments #offences
In recent years ,it has
reported
Add a missing verb
been reported
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 that many
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
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 and injuries
has
Wrong verb form
have been
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 caused by negligence by
road
 users
thus
 drivers.
However
, to improvise
such
 situations , it is much better to set tough laws against
such
deed
Fix the agreement mistake
deeds
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for example
 total ban
of
Change preposition
on
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 not driving and
Correct article usage
an
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increase
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 fine relating to an offence.
While
 ,
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 mistakes do happen . In my own opinion , setting of high level of rules and regulations is the best thing to do to
reduces
Wrong verb form
reduce
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 the endanger of
roadusers
Correct your spelling
road users
road-users
. On the one hand , people
turn
Verb problem
do
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 not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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like to cause accidents
nevertheless
 , situations are unpredictable
therefore
 mistakes will
do caught
Wrong verb form
catch
show examples
 up with
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
eventually
or
Correct word choice
apply
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for instance
, robots may not be working or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pedestrian
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pedestrians
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is
Verb problem
may
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 not paying attention to what is happening
around
Correct pronoun usage
around them
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 .
for example
 in Lublin , a lady was rushing to the university institute and she was hit by a car she did not notice that the traffic robots had changed to red. on the other hand , individuals turn to be reckless unfortunately when they are driving either
car
Correct article usage
a car
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 or cycling
hence
thats
Correct your spelling
that
why
Add an article
the
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rate of deaths
due to
Add an article
the accident
an accident
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accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 increasing day and night . some human beings are driving whilst they are
Change preposition
on drug
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drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
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 or they even race on
road
Correct article usage
the road
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 teenagers.
for example
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,
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it is said that Paul Walker was racing when he died .
Therefore
 ,if someone
endangered
Wrong verb form
endangers
show examples
 others , he or she should be banned from driving
thus
 if they are drug , high or racing .
secondly
 , the fine should be increased
this
 will minimise the offences . In conclusion, punishment of banning and increasing
fine
Fix the agreement mistake
fines
show examples
 should be
implemated
Correct your spelling
implemented
to
road
offencers
Correct your spelling
officers
offences
this
 will improve safety to the people , since other individuals are reckless when using the
road
 .In my own
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 it is best to punish the people
according to
 the level of the offence.
Submitted by teterayithelma on

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structure
Consider carefully structuring your essay with clear paragraphs – an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This will enhance the logical flow and clarity of your argument.
linking
Try to vary your sentence structures, linking words, and phrases for cohesion. It helps in connecting ideas more smoothly and improving the readability of your essay.
argument balance
Work on providing a balanced argument by thoroughly discussing both sides if you choose partial agreement or disagreement. Additionally, ensure the conclusion adequately reflects your overall stance without introducing new information.
grammar spelling
Be mindful of occasional grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Regular practice and proofreading can significantly reduce these inaccuracies, making your argument stronger and easier to follow.
examples
To better support your ideas, incorporate a wider range of detailed and specific examples. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
addressing topic
You clearly address the topic and take a definite stance, which is good for meeting the task response criteria.
real life examples
Includes real-life examples to support your points, which helps in making your argument more persuasive.
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