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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Robotrs and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace Why is this happening Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact to society?

#robotrs #intelligence #humans #workplace #impact #society
People have different views
in
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on
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 the recent advancement of machine technology in different fields
such
 as Robots and
artifical
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artificial
intelligence
 has positive
of
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or
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 negative
influence
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influences
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in
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on
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 their coming lives. I believe that artificial
intelligence
 is developed by humans,
hence
 it could be controlled and operated where it's the most applicable as needed On the one hand, it is argued that artificial
intelligence
 would not be superior as compared with human
Robot
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Robots
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 and could not replace our brains.
Therefore
, the invention of AI is not widely
acceptable
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accepted
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. in our
life
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lives
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. Another effect
on
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of
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this
 innovation is that the majority
people
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of people
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 will be replaced by computer machines and
thus
 they may become jobless
On the other hand
, robots and
artifical
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artificial
intelligence
also
 bring for human a lot of benefits. Nowadays, in industries like mechanical,
automobile
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automobiles
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 use automatic systems, which have shown improvements in productivity".
Other
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Another
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 reason that they might have read in the
Lastest
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Latest
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 research articles
that
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is that
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 robots will soon be available to do our everyday activities.
This
 can be best illustrated by the invention of self-driving robot cars In conclusion,
although
process
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the process
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 in the field of
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artificial
artifical
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artificial
intelligence
 will have positive effects on our lives, I think that
this
 innovation would cause more harm than good

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Task Achievement
Consider adding more specific examples and details to support your arguments, which can make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
Task Achievement
Be mindful of the balance between discussing both views. Ensure you provide equal attention and development to each perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion
It's beneficial to check for and correct minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance the readability of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Using a variety of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs can make your essay more coherent. Try to introduce more transitional phrases.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a balanced view on the topic, discussing both the positive and negative aspects of artificial intelligence and robots in the workplace.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, presenting and summarizing your main points clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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