In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people's skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society.

#parts #world #market #products #whiten #people #skin #outline #effects #terms #health #society

In today’s world in order to get more profit most companies choose to sell lightening and brightening products that are applied to humans’

skin

. The usage of

such

substances has some reasons,

such

as becoming more beautiful or being famous and

also

consequences on the

overall

well-being and society,like the loss of natural beauty and health-related issues.

This

essay will discuss both the causes and effects of the trend. The foremost cause of

this

issue is mostly considered a desire to be more appealing and attractive. To be more specific, some individuals accept whiter

skin

as a symbol of the ideal appearance, so it leads people to buy these creams.

Furthermore

, today most celebrities opt

for using

Change preposition

to use

show examples

lighting products and participate in endorsement events after which it pulls the attention of the public.

Consequently

, the figure for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

brightening cream usage is increasing day by day

due to

the promotion of the companies

for getting

Change preposition

to get

show examples

more benefits. One of the profound and possible consequences behind the problem is related to health concerns. Those who overuse

such

creams damage their natural appearance.

In other words

, it results in dermatologic diseases which sometimes make it impossible to return to the initial state of the

skin

. It has a detrimental impact not only on the

skin

but

also

overall

well-being. To elaborate, if

skin

cancer occurs, other diseases will be inevitable. So, all these factors are a danger to both society and the health of individuals.

To sum up

, producing creams that lighten and whiten the

skin

for the sake of gaining more money by companies is a pervasive issue nowadays.

This

trend has possible reasons,

such

as looking better and so forth. The health-related results of the issue should be taken into account, as well.

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Vocabulary & Sentence Structure

Be cautious of repeating the same ideas or phrases. Aim for a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance your essay's complexity.

Specific Examples & Support

Incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Referencing studies, statistics, or notable cases can significantly support your points and enhance the essay's persuasiveness.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure your essay flows seamlessly by linking ideas and paragraphs. Use a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to better guide the reader through your discussion.

Balanced Discussion

Balance your essay by discussing both causes and effects equally. Sometimes one aspect might be covered more extensively than the other. Aim for a more uniform exploration of both sides to fully address the prompt.

Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, providing a clear overview and summary of your essay's main points.

Task Response

The essay discusses both causes and effects related to the topic, aligning well with the task's requirements.

Logical Structure

The logical structure of your essay is commendable, with a clear progression of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people's skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

There is a problem in the road outside your house. Write a letter to your local councilor. In your letter introduce yourself explain what the problem is tell the councilor what you would like to be done

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed their education and found jobs. Do the advatages outweigh the disadvantages ?

People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families. Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families?