Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
The
way
we all communicate has changed dramatically since the introduction of the
informational technologies. Now it is possible to do things that were unimaginable before or only spoken about in the context of science fiction. It goes without saying that Correct article usage
apply
such
extreme advancements in this
realm have lead
to significant shifts in the Wrong verb form
led
way
people
talk to each other. Objectively, it is still way
to
early to draw final conclusions on how Replace the word
too
this
all impacted humanity, but it is crystal clear that some consequences of this
new informational era are obvious.
Now many of us carry around nifty little gadegts
or use desktop computers that can initiate instant calls or message almost to anybody around the globe. We are all exposed to Correct your spelling
gadgets
gadget
this
new way
of immediate connection to our friends and relatives, celebreties
or even complete strangers. On one hand, it is rather convenient to have Correct your spelling
celebrities
this
as an option, since we can notify or be notifed
about important events, Correct your spelling
notified
meetings
or just receive and send important pieces of information.
But Correct word choice
and meetings
this
may also
lead to some undesirable things, for
example
Add a comma
example,
people
may be harassed or bullied non-stop, personal
details may be passed around, which negatively impacts mental and physical Correct word choice
and personal
wellbeing
. It is Correct your spelling
well-being
also
important to point out that people
, who spend a lot of time on social media may lose touch with reality,
because they no longer differentiate between online avatars and real human beings. More and more Remove the comma
apply
people
report feeling less connected with others, even though we all have our contacts at the tip of our fingers.
To tackle all these problems first we have to understand where they stem from. Some of the main causes of all the negatives
effects of Change the noun form
negative
the
informational technologies are personal insecurity, overexposure and negativity. Correct article usage
apply
That is
why it is crucial to enjoy real face-to-face communication with those you love and spend less time keeping up with some less important news or details about the people
you will never meet or the things you can not change.
There is no denying that these new technologies have drastically improved our lives, especially when used with caution and limitations.Submitted by helgavitalivna on
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task achievement
Overall, your essay addresses the topic well, discussing both the impacts of technology on relationships and the positive and negative aspects. However, to improve your score, ensure that you provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. For example, mention particular social media platforms or communication tools and their specific effects on relationships.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent. However, work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a clear connection between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points more thoroughly. Ensure that each point you make is backed up with relevant examples or evidence. This will make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Proofread your essay for minor language errors, such as spelling and grammar mistakes. This will help in presenting a more polished piece of writing. For instance, correct 'gadegts' to 'gadgets', 'celebreties' to 'celebrities', and 'notifed' to 'notified'.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a well-defined structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed both the positive and negative aspects of technology's impact on relationships. This comprehensive approach demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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