You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six- year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter • explain why you would like the job • give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ • say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #six- #child #parents #job #person #time #australia

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I am writing to express my interest in the live-in nanny position that you have advertised in Time Magazine. The main reason for my interest is that I am a responsible and compassionate individual who loves working with children and would be honoured to have the opportunity to care for your six-year-old child

while

experiencing Australian culture and family values in person. I am confident that my skills and experience make me an ideal candidate for the position as I am a recent graduate with a degree in Early Childhood Education and have several years of experience working as a nanny and babysitter.

Additionally

, I am CPR and First Aid certified, ensuring that your child will always be safe in my care. During my time in Australia, I plan to spend my leisure time exploring the country’s beautiful natural landscapes and learning about the culture. I am

also

eager to improve my Australian accent and language skills. Thank you for considering my application. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Amy Grant

Submitted by amandacflago23 on Mon Apr 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and all following sentences develop around that central idea.

task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples or stories from your past experiences to further demonstrate your qualifications and personality. This could make your application more memorable and compelling.

logical structure

You structured your letter well, dividing it into clear, logical paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific part of the prompt.

greeting and closing

Your greeting and closing were appropriately formal, setting a professional tone for your application.

complete response

You adhered closely to the task, addressing all parts of the prompt in a coherent and concise manner. Your desire for the job, your qualifications, and how you would spend your free time in Australia were all clearly communicated.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

181 words

8.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

advertisement
live with
look after
six-year-old child
suitable
employ
free time
Australia

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