Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?

Food
is a most essential
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
to make a healthy body. Many
School
children prefer to buy healthy
food
for
school
cafeteria
but
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
prefer unhealthy
food
. In
this
essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss both
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
and why
school
cafeteria
Fix the agreement mistake
cafeterias
show examples
need to stop
allowed
Add a missing verb
being allowed
show examples
to sell unhealthy
food
. The main
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
to consume
Change preposition
of consuming
show examples
healthy
food
rather than unhealthy is
because
Correct word choice
that
show examples
healthy
food
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
your body with
protines
Correct your spelling
proteins
provinces
. healthy
food
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
your body fit and fine. it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
you the energy to
studay
Correct your spelling
study
stay
all day.
this
is the main key why
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
buy healthy
food
howerver
Correct your spelling
however
, some other
student
Change the wording
students
show examples
prefer to buy unhealthy
food
because it
look
Change the verb form
looks
show examples
good and
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to healthy
food
it
also
taste
Change the verb form
tastes
show examples
good. that's why some
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
are avoid to buy healthy
food
.
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
show examples
need to think more of their
student
rather than their
cafeteria
business.
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
show examples
need to stop allowing unhealthy
food
to
sell
Wrong verb form
be sold
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
Correct article usage
the cafeteria
show examples
cafeteria
Fix the agreement mistake
cafeterias
show examples
because
consumeing
Correct your spelling
consuming
junk
food
may
occor
Correct your spelling
cause
many diseases
such
as
food
poisoning,
diarrhoea
Correct word choice
and diarrhoea
show examples
.
School
is the main learning center for
childern
Correct your spelling
children
what they do, what they study is
becomming
Correct your spelling
becoming
habbit
Correct article usage
a habbit
show examples
of them that's why
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
show examples
need to provide
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
with
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
environment. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
argued that healthy
food
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
greater
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
rather than unhealthy
food
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
show examples
need to
band
Correct your spelling
ban
show examples
unhealthy
food
and
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
with
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
environment.
Submitted by bibekluitel758 on

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Spelling
Pay attention to spelling mistakes and ensure words are spelled correctly, e.g., 'think' should be 'thing', 'benifit' should be 'benefit', 'protines' should be 'proteins', 'studay' should be 'study', etc.
Sentence Structure
Enhance sentence structure and use varied sentence lengths and types to improve readability.
Punctuation
Work on punctuation, especially the use of commas and periods to better separate ideas.
Paragraphing
Use paragraphs to organize your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea.
Argument Development
Develop your arguments further with more specific examples and explanations to enhance coherence.
Introduction
You effectively introduce the topic and make your opinion clear.
Balance
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, acknowledging the benefits of healthy food and the appeal of unhealthy food.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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