Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?

#school #children #food #cafeteria #buy #situations #schools

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Food

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is a most essential

think

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thing

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to make a healthy body. Many

School

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children prefer to buy healthy

food

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for

school

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cafeteria

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but

other

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others

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prefer unhealthy

food

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. In

this

Linking Words

essay,

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will discuss both

view

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views

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and why

school

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cafeteria

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cafeterias

show examples

need to stop

allowed

Add a missing verb

being allowed

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to sell unhealthy

food

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. The main

benifit

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benefit

benefits

to consume

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of consuming

show examples

healthy

food

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rather than unhealthy is

because

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that

show examples

healthy

food

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provide

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provides

show examples

your body with

protines

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proteins

provinces

. healthy

food

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make

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makes

show examples

your body fit and fine. it

give

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gives

show examples

you the energy to

studay

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study

stay

all day.

this

Linking Words

is the main key why

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student

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students

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buy healthy

food

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howerver

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however

, some other

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student

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students

show examples

prefer to buy unhealthy

food

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because it

look

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looks

show examples

good and

compare

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compared

show examples

to healthy

food

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also

Linking Words

taste

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tastes

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good. that's why some

childrens

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children

show examples

are avoid to buy healthy

food

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School

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Schools

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need to think more of their

student

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rather than their

cafeteria

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business.

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School

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Schools

show examples

need to stop allowing unhealthy

food

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sell

Wrong verb form

be sold

show examples

form

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from

show examples

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the cafeteria

show examples

cafeteria

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cafeterias

show examples

because

consumeing

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consuming

junk

food

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may

occor

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cause

many diseases

such

Linking Words

food

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poisoning,

diarrhoea

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and diarrhoea

show examples

School

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is the main learning center for

childern

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children

what they do, what they study is

becomming

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becoming

habbit

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a habbit

show examples

of them that's why

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School

Fix the agreement mistake

Schools

show examples

need to provide

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student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

with

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

environment. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

argued that healthy

food

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provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

greater

benifit

Correct your spelling

benefit

benefits

rather than unhealthy

food

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. In my

opinion

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opinion,

show examples

Use synonyms

School

Fix the agreement mistake

Schools

show examples

need to

band

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ban

show examples

unhealthy

food

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and

provid

Correct your spelling

provide

Use synonyms

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

with

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

environment.

Submitted by bibekluitel758 on Tue Apr 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Spelling

Pay attention to spelling mistakes and ensure words are spelled correctly, e.g., 'think' should be 'thing', 'benifit' should be 'benefit', 'protines' should be 'proteins', 'studay' should be 'study', etc.

Sentence Structure

Enhance sentence structure and use varied sentence lengths and types to improve readability.

Punctuation

Work on punctuation, especially the use of commas and periods to better separate ideas.

Paragraphing

Use paragraphs to organize your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea.

Argument Development

Develop your arguments further with more specific examples and explanations to enhance coherence.

Introduction

You effectively introduce the topic and make your opinion clear.

Balance

The essay addresses both sides of the argument, acknowledging the benefits of healthy food and the appeal of unhealthy food.

Conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

221 words

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Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?

Fully explain your ideas

Even though governments have worked hard to bring about improvements in the healthcare system, the overall standard of physical health in developed countries is decreasing. What are the potential reasons for this, and what are some of the long-term effects?

Recent research has confirmed that human activity has become the greatest threat to plant and animal life. Why do you think this has happened? How can we reduce our impact on the natural world?

Some people argue that it is the government's responsibility to transport children to school while others believe that parents should do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. Include : &Where you stayed. & What the problems were. & How they can fix your complaints.