Topic 1 : As computers are being used more and more in a, there will soon be no role for the teacher in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years,
due to
the development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology, the
role
of the teacher in the classroom may be replaced by
computers
. In my opinion,
although
computers
are being used more and more in education, I totally disagree that technology will return to the teacher's place.
To begin
with, there are numerous why
computers
cannot change the
role
of
teachers
in the classroom. First of all,
computers
do not have the ability to contact offline with
students
. In education,
teachers
not only provide
knowledge
but
also
educate about morality.
For example
,
teachers
always interact with their
students
in order to improve education quality,
however
,
computers
just provide
knowledge
without contact.
That is
the reason why it is so hard for learners who study with
computers
to understand some lessons.
In addition
, the main reason why I believe that there will not be any
role
for
teachers
in the class is that The enthusiasm and personal connection that
teachers
establish with their
students
are qualities that
computers
cannot replicate.
Computers
will never be capable of offering genuine praise for hard work and constructive suggestions for improvement in the same way
teachers
do.
Teachers
consistently encourage and support their
students
in their pursuit of growth. To sum it up, from my perspective,
although
computers
are very quick and
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
, I think only
teachers
have the ability to help
students
grow up
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
both sides including
knowledge
and morality.
That is
the reason why I strongly agree that
teachers
play a crucial
role
in imparting
knowledge
compared to
computers
.
Submitted by nguyenhoanganhquan918 on

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task achievement
Your essay is well-structured, and you've provided a clear introduction and conclusion. However, you should include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Examples from real-life scenarios can make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Ensure that your reasons and examples directly support your thesis statement. This will provide a more cohesive argument. For instance, you might provide examples of situations where teachers' personal interactions have made a significant difference in students' lives.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. You can use connecting phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'On the other hand' to aid the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with minor language errors such as 'computers cannot change the role of teachers' (it should be 'replace the role of teachers'). While these don't significantly detract from your overall message, correcting them would improve clarity.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view and clearly states your position on the topic from the beginning.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your position. This leaves a strong, final impression on the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically divided into paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument, which makes it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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