Some people think that books should be stopped in school and that videos, films and computers should be used instead. To what extent do you agree?

#people #books #school #videos #films #computers

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There has been quite an obvious discussion around the topic of digital

education

material in school.

While

some people believe that we

shold

Correct your spelling

should

use e-books in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

classes

instead

of hard copy

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

. I would argue that there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

some points that we should take

Change preposition

into

show examples

account. I will explain my reason in the following paragraphs. There is no doubt that in

this

modern world, Many books may be replaced with digital media

as well as

education

Replace the word

educational

show examples

book

Fix the agreement mistake

books

show examples

, As it is more

convinenice

Correct your spelling

convenience

to access from

user

Correct article usage

the user

show examples

no matter where you are or when you want.

For instance

, student can easily access

lesson

Fix the agreement mistake

lessons

show examples

from their

moblie

Correct your spelling

mobile

while

they are travelling to

shcool

Correct your spelling

school

or they can review anytime they want without carrying the actual

book

As a result

, Student could spend their free time reading the

book

easier.

However

, it is worth pointing out that not everyone can

efford

Correct your spelling

afford

electronic

device

Fix the agreement mistake

devices

show examples

what is the key tool to use those e-books

Change the punctuation

show examples

This

base

Wrong verb form

based

show examples

on the fact that there are many

student

Change to a plural noun

students

show examples

face

Correct pronoun usage

who face

show examples

financial

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

. if they have to spend more budget on

education

purpose, they cannot

efford

Correct your spelling

afford

that.

For example

, In

Thailand

Add a comma

Thailand,

show examples

there is a free

education

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

for

poorvity

Correct your spelling

poor

childen

Correct your spelling

children

outskirt

Correct article usage

the outskirt

show examples

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

using

Wrong verb form

uses

show examples

Add an article

the book

a book

show examples

book

Fix the agreement mistake

books

show examples

educate

Correct pronoun usage

educate them

show examples

. Those children cannot even

effort

Correct your spelling

afford

show examples

for

education

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

how

Correct word choice

so how

show examples

can their parents support

such

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

electronic things for their child

Change the punctuation

show examples

To sum up

, we can observe that there are few

merit

Change to a plural noun

merits

show examples

chaging

Correct your spelling

changing

books to digital material in school but we cannot look

pass

Correct your spelling

past

show examples

the

poorvety

Correct your spelling

poverty

poorest

children that may affect

from

Change preposition

show examples

this

change so, i could not agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

stagement

Correct your spelling

statement

Submitted by v.mahatkomol on Tue Apr 02 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to make your introduction clearer by stating your opinion directly and summarizing your main points. This will provide a stronger foundation for your argument.

Task Achievement

Although your essay presents relevant examples, enhancing the specificity and relevance of these examples will strengthen your argument. Consider including more detailed situations or data to support your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay flows quite well from one paragraph to the next, but using more cohesive devices could improve the logical flow even further. Consider phrases that signal contrasts, additions, or conclusions.

Coherence and Cohesion

Pay attention to spelling and grammar to ensure your argument is presented as clearly as possible. Errors such as 'efford' instead of 'afford', and 'poorvity' instead of 'poverty' can distract the reader from your main points.

Content

You've chosen relevant examples to support your argument, such as the accessibility of e-books for students during their commute to school and the financial challenges faced by students in accessing electronic devices.

Content

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance and the reasons behind it, creating a clear endpoint to your argument.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Some people think that books should be stopped in school and that videos, films and computers should be used instead. To what extent do you agree?

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

You Are due to give a talk to you through about the danger of smoking, but you cannot now do so. Write a letter to the youth group leader, explain that you cannot come. Apologise for your absence. Suggest a new occasion.

You recently read an article in the newspaper about someone whom you know personally but have not heard from in a long time. You found that some of the information published was incorrect.