IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the bar chart illustrates four different museums visitors

The bar chart depicts the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
Change preposition
to
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 various
museums
Use synonyms
 from June to
October
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
August to
October
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of customers
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
museums
Use synonyms
, and
visitors
Use synonyms
 mainly
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 to the British
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 which is the highest
number
Use synonyms
 compared to other
museums
Use synonyms
among
Change preposition
during
show examples
 these months.
Conversely
Linking Words
, National
Museum
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 lowest places
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 period. A closer look at the data, in August, The British
Museum
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
represented
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 with around 720.000 which is almost two times higher than
visitors
Use synonyms
 who visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the National
Museum
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 month.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
A
show examples
 similar trend happened in September and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
October
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, Science
Museum
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 increased by 100.000 in September, and it dropped again by 200.000 in
October
Use synonyms
. In terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
June and July, the
number
Use synonyms
 of guests
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 slightly similar, with around
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
190.000 to 420.000
visitors
Use synonyms
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to four different
museums
Use synonyms
 respectively. The
number
Use synonyms
 of guests in
History
Correct article usage
the History
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the second highest bar graph in these months.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, museums, october, museum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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