In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
Many people believe that
student's
living placement is necessary to communicate and Correct article usage
a student's
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
of
Change preposition
as
person
. Correct article usage
a person
While
there are some another
aspects of Replace the adjective
other
this
statement that students should live with their parents at home, I agree with the view that without it we will become more sociable.
Leaving the parents' home can be considered useful things for several reasons. The strongest argument is that for growing in the future we need be
more independent of the family. Feeling Fix the infinitive
to be
of
freedom and responsibility for yourself is the basic aspect of maturity Change preposition
apply
or
any human being. Correct your spelling
for
For instance
, when we begin to leave alone, we should prepare and plan everything for tomorrow or next weekends
. It can include buying some productsFix the agreement mistake
weekend
,
when you will feel any hunger and it's very crucial for support of your lifestyle.
Remove the comma
apply
Additionally
, I believe that living
attend university is important for socializing there. Add the particle
living to
Firstly
, it is an effective reason to find quickly a
new friends or Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
roomates
. When you Correct your spelling
roommates
are going
to Wrong verb form
adapt
adaptate
Correct your spelling
adapt
in
new Change preposition
to
for
Change preposition
apply
yourself
conditions, you are becoming Correct pronoun usage
apply
an
"another man" in Correct article usage
apply
the
positive point. Correct article usage
a
For example
, while
discussing some topics with new friends, you gradually understand how society works and how to to be in the same boat to be in the same boat with this
. Secondly
, appearance
of new people in these conditions can offer you Add an article
the appearance
to open
unexpected places, emotions, Verb problem
apply
experiences
, which you haven't had before. Correct word choice
and experiences
For instance
, there you can be invited to really
events like parties or exhibitions. In Change the word
real
this
Correct determiner usage
these
places
people can improve their Add a comma
places,
soft-skills
and find a lot of friends and facts or themes for their future human Correct your spelling
soft skills
being
.
In conclusion, I think that it proves to be the best way of communication and self-development, fostering a deeper connection between individuals and the environment that sustains us all.Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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task achievement
You address the main question, which is whether the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages. However, some ideas could be expanded for a fuller response. Including more specific examples will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the introduction could be more clearly defined, and the conclusion could be more comprehensive. Transitions between some ideas can be improved to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
While your main points are generally supported, some arguments need further evidence or elaboration. Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main thesis and provides concrete examples when necessary.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure, making it easier to follow your argument. This includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You successfully present multiple points of view, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
clear comprehensive ideas
You discuss both independence and socialization, which are relevant and important points in the context of university life.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.