Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some
people
opine that dangerous sports should be forbidden. Others state that it is up to you. I am the person who agrees with the second one, and I will elaborate my
point of view in Change preposition
on my
following
paragraphs.
To start with, banning those sports may result in some problems. Correct article usage
the following
For example
, diving is a pretty risky sport. If people
stop doing that, we will not have that sort of talented people
in the future. Why do we need that kind of people
? Because they can rescue someone in the ocean, sea, lake, and so on. Firefighters and special force members are trained in many types of serious environments. They are helping people
. Therefore
, I support that we can choose to do it or not.
Juveniles are easily affected by peers. As a result
, they are more likely to do some things which are considered adventures. However
, those are the things with lots of hazards, such
as speed riding, fighting, parkour, and so forth. Every year, some youngsters pass away because of participating in one sport. I think maybe it is a good idea to limit it for
teenagers. All ages could take part in these exercises. Change preposition
to
However
, adolescents are the most serious age group.
In a nutshell, some people
like to take risks and do those for fun. Some people
became professional players and trainers. And those athletes could be good at saving others from danger. However
, young adults are the ages that like to put them in
risk. And they are not well prepared for doing those sports. Change preposition
at
Thus
, many of them were gone. I think governments should discuss this
and make laws for it.Submitted by edward300225 on
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Structure and Cohesion
Ensure a clear distinction between paragraphs for developing distinct ideas. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to aid in the smooth progression of thoughts.
Lexical Resource
Integrate more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance clarity and engagement in your essay.
Task Response
While supporting your viewpoint, it’s beneficial to explore the opposing perspective more thoroughly to create a balanced argument.
Task Response
You provided a clear opinion and rationale for your stance, enhancing the task response.
Structure and Cohesion
The essay structure (introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion) is well organized, facilitating a coherent and cohesive flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
You successfully incorporated specific examples to illustrate your points, aiding task achievement.