These days, mobile phone and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the contemporary world, smartphones and wifi are essential ways in which numerous users can acquire information and interact with peers daily.
This
tendency leads to many beneficial ways for humans' entertainment and work.
Therefore
,
this
leads to more advantages that outweigh the disadvantages.
This
essay will expound on my views about the statement's pros rather than the cons and conclude the topic. To commence, the majority of advantages of people using phones and the internet are more convenient for communicating with different countries' users whenever they need it. On top of that, online dating is more trendy nowadays owing to the contribution of extending your social circle. When some online daters utilise gadgets and the wifi connecting dating apps, they can socialise with their partners without face-to-face embarrassing situations. Another advantage is to have better chemistry interaction when people meet their peers online.
Thus
, mobile phones and the internet are crucial parts of their life socially.
On the other hand
, even though there are many benefits to using gadgets for socialising,
this
also
causes some drawbacks in humans using gadgets to communicate. One of the major disadvantages is relying on devices to chat with each one, limiting spending face-to-face meetings for family members.
For instance
, in my city, dozens of younger generations ignore their grandparents
while
they just chat with friends online.
As a result
, older generations and younger generations have a big gap between their bonding and isolation.
Hence
,
this
is more likely to pull out their relationships when adolescents focus on their phones with online chatting. In conclusion, following the statement above, I believe that the advantages of using mobile and the internet outweigh the disadvantages as more user-friendly.
Otherwise
, if some adolescents can separate their time and be patient with their older ones, I suppose the disadvantage would disappear.
Submitted by jimmy.wong.wp on

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task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. While your essay mentions general benefits and drawbacks of mobile phones and the internet in social interactions, incorporating detailed examples would strengthen your points and make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
For an even stronger structure, consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly around each main point. Introducing each paragraph with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea will make your argumentation more coherent.
introduction conclusion present
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your argument, highlighting the advantages of mobile phones and the internet in social interactions.
complete response
You've demonstrated the ability to discuss the topic from multiple perspectives, weighing the advantages and disadvantages thoughtfully.
logical structure
Your essay is well-structured, making it easy to follow your points and understand your position on the matter.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instantaneous
  • digital communication
  • geographical barriers
  • social networking
  • face-to-face interactions
  • overdependence
  • privacy concerns
  • cyberbullying
  • online communities
  • unparalleled access
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