There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In
this
contemporary era, rapid advancements in technology have infiltrated almost all aspects of our lives, completely revolutionizing both education and professional work
styles. On account of improved IT technology, modern tools have broadened distance work
and study opportunities by making them more convenient to operate. It is my contention that this
trend is a multifaceted phenomenon with both merits and demerits on the current and future states of humanity.
First and foremost, after experiencing the COVID-19 pandemic, a majority of businesses and education centres had to switch from physical to distance operations. It should be emphasized that distance operations offer unparalleled flexibility and accessibility, therefore
, organizations have decided to uphold these reforms, by amending online services and classrooms to their service portfolios. People from far distances can now attend the classrooms at the most prestigious schools and universities without being physically present. For instance
, major tech companies that are located in developed countries outsource their operations to IT specialists who live overseas in order to cut their operation expenses due to
the low labour costs in other countries. All of this
is possible because of high-technological tools and greatly benefits every stakeholder.
On the other hand
, too much digitalization may also
lead to the dissipation of quality in the services provided via websites and other online services. Physical interaction is one of the key lenses of having an uninterrupted communication channel between individuals which also
ensures a full understanding of the topics discussed during classes and work
environment. Furthermore
, surfing the Internet has decreased enthusiasm toward careers and professions which is why the majority of people can not concentrate on them.
In conclusion, while
the move towards remote work
and study harnesses technological advancements for convenience and efficiency, it is essential to address its downsides to ensure it benefits everyone equitably.Submitted by orkhanshamil on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear thesis statement which is essential, but the logical progression of ideas could be improved. Try using clearer paragraph transitions and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
coherence cohesion
While you included an introduction and a conclusion, ensure that these segments clearly introduce and summarize the main ideas of the essay. Incorporating a succinct summary in the conclusion can enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay supports its points with examples, yet more specific and related examples could strengthen your argument. Consider using more detailed examples directly related to the impact of home working and studying on society.
task achievement
To fully complete the task, ensure you address both sides of the argument comprehensively, providing a balanced view before stating your opinion. This will enhance your task achievement score.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally relevant, but strive to ensure all paragraphs clearly contribute to your argument. Consider how each paragraph supports your overall stance on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.