In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
In ancient times, elders never were a burden on the Governance
due to
their contributions such
as experiences
and support provided to their families.Many people argue that this
population generates troubles for the Government, while
others believe that these people are assets to the nation. Both sides of this
topic will be proven by careful analysis before constructing an inference.
On the one hand, there are many reasons why they are a burden on the Authorities. The first main reason is that senior citizens need more aged care facilities and, as a result
, need more buildings and money to provide them. Another factor is that extra doctors and hospital staff members are required to manage these human requirements, which results in the need to hire more medical and admin staff members to look after them. For example
, in New South Wales, the Authorities still require a huge number of aged care facilities to accommodate old people. As a result
, every year the government spends lots of money to look after these citizens.
On the other side, there are some benefits to having such
experience generation for our society. One primary reason is that they have life’s practical experiences
, which are gained during their day-to-day activities. For instance
, doctors and engineers get their degrees with studies and earned experiences
during practical training, so we can utilise their important skills to build the nation. In addition
, while
at home they look after their grandchildren and save their family's money pay to for age care. As a consequence
, it is evident that family heads never be a burden on the Administrations because they already contributed a lot to the state.
In conclusion, following the analysis of both sides, it is clear that
this
section never be a problem for the administration due to
past vital participation in building of country’s economy and providing time-to-time vital experiences
to the kingdom. Further
, it is predicted that these senior citizens are going to contribute their practical experiences
in the future as well to shape up better image of the state.Submitted by rbtech65 on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to clarify and improve the accuracy of some sentences for better readability. For example, 'In ancient times, elders never were a burden on the Governance due to their contributions such as experiences and support provided to their families' can be modified to 'In ancient times, elders were not a burden on the government due to their valuable contributions and support to their families.'
task achievement
Try to avoid repetition and slightly awkward phrasing. For instance, in 'As a consequence, it is evident that family heads never be a burden on the Administrations,' consider rephrasing it to 'Thus, it is evident that elders are not burdensome to the government.'
task achievement
Good effort in providing a balanced view of both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear overview of the essay.
task achievement
Relevant specific examples are provided to support the arguments, making the essay more convincing.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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