In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative decreasing death rate
due to
the modern medical systems available in different countries. While
some people
argue that seniors are a burden on the Government's infrastructure, others believe that elderly people
teach us their experiences. This
stance will be proven by carefully analysing why the older population are good for society.
On the one hand, health and economic issues. The main reason is that these people
get sick quickly sometimes due to
slight changes in weather and it becomes very difficult to carry them to the hospitals. Another factor is that it is an unnecessary burden on the State to organise beds and food. Furthermore
, if elders live long they will get a pension, which is an economic loss for the nation. For example
, in Australia some seniors are living alone in their houses and Telstra installed panic buttons, even for small health issues they press the button and engage ambulance staff members. As a result
, it is evident why Australia’s health system is busy.
On the other hand
, guidance and looking after the children. The primary factor is that pensioners always share their experiences with their children, so they can make the right decisions in the future. In addition
, these humans look after their grandchildren and play with them. Furthermore
, some families are unable to afford childcare expenses for their juniors so, these people
look after them. For instance
, in India people
live in joint families working people
go to work and seniors look after houses and toddlers. As a consequence
, it is apparent why this
age group is better for society.
In conclusion, following the analysis of both views, it is clear that
we have to respect older people
because when they were young never thought burden of their parents. Further
, it is predicted that this
development for looking after their parents is going to continue in the future as well.Submitted by rbtech65 on
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Coherence Cohesion
Try to improve your essay by using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition phrases to better link ideas and paragraphs, enhancing readability and flow.
Task Achievement
While your examples are relevant, adding more varied and detailed examples can further strengthen your argument and provide a more comprehensive view on the topic.
Coherence Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, clearly stated in the topic sentence, to improve clarity and effectiveness of your argument.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing a balanced view and concluding with your opinion.
Coherence Cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your essay nicely and clearly state your viewpoint.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the situation in Australia and the family structure in India, helps to support your points and makes your arguments more persuasive.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...