Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like tennis or swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
In contemporary society , the methods of
doing
physical Verb problem
playing
games
is
widely debated. It’s argued that joining team Change the verb form
are
sports
bring
residents several benefits Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
participate
in individual physical activities . The following article will clarify Fix the infinitive
to participate
there
statement
On the one hand, crew Replace the word
their
sports
plays
a crucial role Change the verb form
play
to develop
teamwork Change preposition
in developing
spirits
and expand social Fix the agreement mistake
spirit
network
the Fix the agreement mistake
networks
fist
Correct your spelling
first
pros
is that players might strengthen their abilities to work in a team . In Fix the agreement mistake
pro
this
day and age it cannot be denied that sports
plays help me can have a
good health and Remove the article
apply
will being
, some people argue Correct your spelling
well-being
the
it is more critical to have an enjoyableCorrect your spelling
that
in
le job than to earn a lot of physical Change preposition
apply
exercises
In order to maintain bodily. Another advantage is that it is a key factor Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
to boost
their relationships is society Change preposition
in boosting
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
help
residents have more communicate with many ages Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
for example
physical activities and bodily games
this
can be explained by the fact movies have been considered to be fashionable and entertaining
On the flip side
some Add a comma
side,
games
choose to do personal games
for primary reasons flexibility
and independence Change preposition
of flexibility
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
beside
participation in Change preposition
besides
sports
games
As if walking , jogging or Do Yoga help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
physical
Change the word
physically
Correct word choice
and mental
mental
, stay healthy Change the word
mentally
sometime
daily Replace the word
sometimes
sports
it
is very necessary with every human Correct pronoun usage
apply
be
guaranteed and maintained get shaped and have a good healthy
In Add the particle
to be
conclusion
selecting the ways to Add a comma
conclusion,
plays
Wrong verb form
play
sports
depends too much on each person’s personality some want to join a physical team to increase their social imagines
. Correct your spelling
images
However
it seems to me that playing private Add a comma
However,
sports
is also
powerful for those who are busy and prioritize the freedomSubmitted by quynhtranhbh on
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Logical structure
Your essay provides a clear discussion on the topic, covering both the benefits of team sports and individual sports effectively. To improve, ensure that you present your arguments in a more structured manner, separating them clearly into paragraphs.
Introduction & Conclusion
Introducing the essay with a stronger statement about your stance could help clarify your position from the beginning. The conclusion too could summarize the points more clearly to make a stronger impact.
Supported main points
Backing up your points with more specific examples and evidence can make your argument stronger and more persuasive to the reader.
Complete response
You've managed to answer the prompt by discussing both views and giving your opinion. For higher scores, ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task with detailed support for your views.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Try to clarify and develop your ideas further. Each paragraph should introduce a clear main idea followed by explanation or example. This makes your essay easier to understand and more engaging.
Relevant Specific Examples
Including more relevant examples related directly to the benefits or drawbacks of team vs individual sports would enrich your essay, making your arguments more convincing.
Task response
You've effectively covered both views on team vs individual sports and provided your own opinion, which is great for task achievement.
Comprehensiveness
Your inclusion of both team sports and individual sports shows you understand the complexity of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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