Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

#success #terms #money #somebody #wealth #measure

Success

is a very subjective aspect, as the factors determining them vary. Some

people

often quantify

success

by how much money someone has gained. I disagree with gauging the net worth is the sole way to determine the

success

. Having a healthy life is another factor that defines it. In

this

essay, I will elaborate on my opinion with supporting examples.

To begin

with, measuring moral values is more important than financial ones. We know that we live in a modern society era where

people

are racing to make some bucks. Some individuals with vast net worth tend to lack a moral or ethical backbone.

Therefore

, it may cause anyone who falls short to complain incessantly and become ungrateful and greedy.

On the contrary

, Bill Gates, the wealthiest man in the world, is one example of a Philanthropist who spent his fortune on his private foundation. He believes living a relatively simple rather than luxurious life makes him joyous regardless of wealth.

On the other hand

, there are other indicators as well that can determine if an individual is successful or not, like physical and psychological health.

For example

, many individuals neglect their health and their emotional states.

Hence

this

approach often leads to burnout, decreased productivity, and even become depressed. When

people

prioritize their health, they can perform at their best, maintain high levels of focus, and handle stress more effectively.

As a result

people

become more productive and efficient in their work, setting the stage for long-term

success

Thus

, the definition of

success

cannot be exact for each individual, as everyone has a different perspective.

This

essay discusses that being high-minded is a better approach to defining

success

than money.

Besides

, being physically fit and mentally balanced are

also

essential in evaluating the level of their accomplishments.

Submitted by aquariusgirl17 on Tue May 07 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure clarity and precision in discussing both sides of the argument, to strengthen your argumentation further.

Coherence & Cohesion

To enhance your essay, integrate a broader range of cohesive devices and vary your sentence structures to improve flow and readability.

Structure

Your structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively guides the reader through your argument.

Use of Examples

The relevant examples, such as the mention of Bill Gates, significantly strengthen your argument and make your points more tangible for the reader.

Responding to Task

You have effectively addressed the essay question, providing a thoughtful perspective on alternative measures of success beyond financial wealth.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

Include an introduction and conclusion

You were going to start a job next month, but you will not be able to. Write a letter to your future employer. In your letter explain the situation describe your problem(s) tell him/her when you can start work

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You have a bad experince at a restaurent and write a letter to complain to the manager

In a number of countries, some people thin k it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.