IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In many cities around the world polution levels have been risen in recent years. Why are some cities becoming more pollyted? What effects does this have?

#cities #world #polution #levels #years #effects
Recently, pollution levels have increased in many
cities
 all over the world. Development of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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 and population are the main reasons, which cause worse pollution.
As a result
, there are serious effects on human well-being and the
environment
. A lot of places are getting more polluted, especially in
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
cities
, because of overpopulation and too much industry. A mass of people come to
cities
 to work and study, so they share the same places to live and travel.
Therefore
, the
cities
is
Change the verb form
are
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 becoming more rubbish, smoke and noise.
Moreover
, to develop industry, more and more factories are built and they create more chemicals and trash out the
environment
. Rising pollution levels affect
on
Change preposition
apply
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human’s
Change noun form
human
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 health and
also
 destroy
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. Trash and smoke cause air and water polluted, and when animals or people breathe or drink their health will be affected and many
disease
Change to a plural noun
diseases
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happened
Wrong verb form
happen
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.
For instance
, their
repiratory
Correct your spelling
respiratory
 has problems and rubbish
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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 bad smells which attract insects
such
 as
flier
Fix the agreement mistake
fliers
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 or mosquitos, the reasons of spread illness.
To conclude
, overcrowding and
results
Correct article usage
the results
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 of developing
industry
Fix the agreement mistake
industries
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 from factories affect people’s health and the
environment
. It is
urgently
Change the word
urgent
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 for governments and citizens
consider
Fix the infinitive
to consider
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 and have solutions to save life and the world.
Submitted by duyuyen18 on

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Language Usage
Ensure consistency in spelling (e.g., 'pollution' not 'polution' or 'pollyted'), and use correct spelling for words like 'modern' instead of 'morden' and 'affect' instead of 'effect' in context.
Supporting Examples
Provide specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention actual cities where pollution levels have significantly affected public health or the environment.
Sentence Structure
Work on improving the structure of your sentences for clarity. Some sentences are a bit difficult to understand due to the structure or missing words. This can enhance the readability of your essay.
Organization
Use paragraphs effectively to organize your essay. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea, supported by examples or explanations, to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Structure
You have a clear thesis statement and a conclusion that restates your main points well, which helps in achieving a good structure.
Task Response
Your essay addresses both parts of the question (reasons for increased pollution and its effects), which is crucial for task achievement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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