IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Robot and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society.

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Human
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
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 are developing artificial
intelligence
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 and
robots
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 to replace them in the workplace. These machines help
people
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 to do the works which are repetitive and boring.
This
Linking Words
 writer
think
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thinks
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this
Linking Words
 will have a negative effect on society because it will make
people
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 become
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unemployment
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unemployed
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. There are a lot of reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why is
this
Linking Words
 happening. The biggest reason is
robots
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 and artificial
intelligence
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 are developed to alternative
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 in boring and repetitive jobs. Like workers at
factory
Correct article usage
a factory
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, every
of
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apply
show examples
workers
Fix the agreement mistake
worker
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have
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has
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 their own mission, but these roles are very repetitive. It
cause
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causes
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worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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 boring and they do not have
Correct article usage
the moltivation
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moltivation
Correct your spelling
motivation
 to promote, so
robots
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 and artificial
intelligence
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 will do
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 work
instead
Linking Words
 of
people
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. Another reason is
robot
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robots
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 and artificial
intelligence
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 help humans to do dangerous work
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning glasses of skyscrapers. Despite a high salary,
this
Linking Words
 job is too dangerous for
people
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 to do.
Although
Linking Words
robots
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 and artificial
intelligence
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 help humans a lot, their appearance
also
Linking Words
 has a negative impact on society. It increases the
unemployment
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propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
promotion
 in society. There is a large quantity of
people
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 who work in
factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
show examples
, they all
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
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 their jobs and become
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unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
. There will be a higher rate of social
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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every where
Correct your spelling
everywhere
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, developed countries have the idea that updating the features of
robots
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 will turn into the main reason for
unemployment
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.
Therefore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 should use it in the right way, more managing, suitable and prevent them from depending on it too much because of the
dangerous
Replace the word
dangers
show examples
 of these machines.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, try to link ideas more smoothly using a wider range of cohesive devices. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
language accuracy
Consider revising the essay to correct grammatical errors and improve the sophistication of the vocabulary used. This can greatly improve the clarity and overall impact of your message.
task achievement
Strengthen your argument by providing more specific examples and detailed reasoning. This adds depth to your essay and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
style tone
Maintain a more neutral tone throughout the essay to avoid bias. Present both sides of an argument more equally before stating your conclusion.
task response
Your essay successfully addresses the topic and provides a clear position on the impact of robots and AI on society.
structure
The structure of your essay, including an introduction and conclusion, is in place and aids in presenting your argument.
examples
You've provided a relevant example of how robots and AI are used in dangerous jobs, which supports your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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