Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #sports #facilities #train #athletes #development

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It is a common fact that being a professional athlete requires consistency in practising. As an effort to support their

athletes

, some countries build certain sports

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

which are specialized only for professional

athletes

. In

this

situation

Add a comma

situation,

show examples

I strongly believe that providing these

facilities

brings more benefits compared to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

negatives.

To begin

with, there are several advantages of building

facilities

only for professional

athletes

practice

Firstly

, it gives more flexibility for the

athletes

to set their

practice

schedule since no other strangers will use the

facilities

Subsequently

, they can have more time to

practice

and improve their skills.

In addition

, the use of an exclusive building lets

athletes

focus more on their

practice

because their fans will have no access to the

facilities

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

the positives, using an exclusive building

also

has some drawbacks. One disadvantage is that coaches will not be able to meet new

sportsman

Fix the agreement mistake

sportsmen

show examples

in the field.

For example

, non-professional players will not use the

facilities

practice

while

coaches will spend most of their time in the building. Unfortunately, the possibility for them to meet during

practice

is reduced. Another drawback is that the government will spend more money on the asset. The expenses are not only used when they build it but

also

the maintenance of the

facilities

. In conclusion, despite the negatives

such

as giving less chance for new players and gaining more expense, building

exclusively

Change the word

exclusive

show examples

facilities

for

athletes

is more important for the country. The importance is

due to

the development of the

athletes

' skills as their

practice

schedule and focus will not be distracted.

Submitted by buyabuya201 on Tue Apr 02 2024

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task achievement

Try to include more specific examples or data to support your arguments. This can make your essay more convincing.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure to link ideas between paragraphs more clearly using a variety of linking words or phrases.

task achievement

You presented a balanced view discussing both advantages and disadvantages effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion were clear and directly addressed the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

specialised facilities
train top athletes
international sports
boost
reputation
attract
sporting events
access
general public
inequality
opportunities
overemphasis
elite sports
neglect
grassroots development

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Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The internet has a bigger impact on people’s lives because it is more popular than television. Do you agree or disagree?

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out of work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parent’s absence.

some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spend on other things. Discuss both views and your own opinion.