Write about the following topic: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
In
contemporary
Correct article usage
the contemporary
word
, a trend towards urbanism in Correct your spelling
world
the
society is Correct article usage
apply
noticable
. More and more people are leaving the rural areas and are Correct your spelling
noticeable
accomodating
in the cities. I strongly consider it as a negative phenomenon as it is a detriment to Correct your spelling
accommodating
argiculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
as well as
over-populating the urban areas.
Argiculture
Correct your spelling
Agriculture
sysyem
is highly dependent on Correct your spelling
system
the
rural life because it is the main Correct article usage
apply
occuption
in those places. When individuals leave their jobs those fields are left unoccupied. Gradually Correct your spelling
occupation
this
results in low labor
for Change the spelling
labour
archiculture
. Correct your spelling
agriculture
for example
, there are many arable lands Correct pronoun usage
that remained
remained
left and unused in Iran because of Wrong verb form
remain
migration
of rural workers to the cities.
Correct article usage
the migration
Furthemore
, with new people entering Correct your spelling
Furthermore
to
the cities, they have become over-populated, Change preposition
apply
as a result
, a decline in the life quality in them since a city with a populaton
greatly Correct your spelling
population
decline
in life quality in ways Correct subject-verb agreement
declines
such
as less availabe
jobs and crowded public transport and heavy traffic. Correct your spelling
available
For
instance
London with around 10 million people living there is Add a comma
instance,
such
a crowded and busy city.
Overall
, in regards of
space planning, a new Change preposition
to
room
is constructed for a Cafe in the bottom right
, also
the room
in the upper left is expanded, while
usage in both spaces has changed since 20 years ago.
Correct article usage
The Childrens
Childrens
books department has moved from the upper Correct your spelling
Children
right
room
to the upper left room
thus
providing the first room
for lectures. Tables and chairs in the middle of the hall have been removed. Self-service gadgets have been utilized in the right
cornet
of the hall just next to the information desk.
Correct your spelling
corner
Computer
section is Correct article usage
The computer
transfered
from Correct your spelling
transferred
upper
to the lower left Correct article usage
the upper
room
, latter was used as a reading room
before. Space deticated
Correct your spelling
dedicated
for
Fiction books has increased in both Change preposition
to
children
and Change noun form
children's
adults
departments, in the upper left Fix the agreement mistake
adult
room
and right
part of the hall.Submitted by soroush.nezami on
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Introduction & Conclusion
To strengthen your essay, consider providing a clearer introduction and conclusion. Make sure both reflect your main argument and summarize your points effectively.
Main Body Content
Develop your ideas further with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensive nature of your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to the coherence of your essay. Make sure all parts are logically connected and the flow of thoughts is smooth.
Accuracy
Be mindful of small errors in spelling, grammar, and syntax. Although they don't significantly affect your grade here, improving them will make your argument clearer and more professional.
Addressing the Task
You addressed the topic and presented arguments for why the phenomenon is negative.
Use of Examples
You attempted to use examples to support your points, showing an understanding of essay structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.