Write about the following topic: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

In
contemporary
Correct article usage
the contemporary
show examples
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
, a trend towards urbanism in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
. More and more people are leaving the rural areas and are
accomodating
Correct your spelling
accommodating
in the cities. I strongly consider it as a negative phenomenon as it is a detriment to
argiculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
as well as
over-populating the urban areas.
Argiculture
Correct your spelling
Agriculture
sysyem
Correct your spelling
system
is highly dependent on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural life because it is the main
occuption
Correct your spelling
occupation
in those places. When individuals leave their jobs those fields are left unoccupied. Gradually
this
results in low
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
for
archiculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
.
for example
, there are many arable lands
Correct pronoun usage
that remained
show examples
remained
Wrong verb form
remain
show examples
left and unused in Iran because of
migration
Correct article usage
the migration
show examples
of rural workers to the cities.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, with new people entering
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cities, they have become over-populated,
as a result
, a decline in the life quality in them since a city with a
populaton
Correct your spelling
population
greatly
decline
Correct subject-verb agreement
declines
show examples
in life quality in ways
such
as less
availabe
Correct your spelling
available
jobs and crowded public transport and heavy traffic.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
London with around 10 million people living there is
such
a crowded and busy city.
Overall
, in regards
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
space planning, a new
room
is constructed for a Cafe in the bottom
right
,
also
the
room
in the upper left is expanded,
while
usage in both spaces has changed since 20 years ago.
Correct article usage
The Childrens
show examples
Childrens
Correct your spelling
Children
books department has moved from the upper
right
room
to the upper left
room
thus
providing the first
room
for lectures. Tables and chairs in the middle of the hall have been removed. Self-service gadgets have been utilized in the
right
cornet
Correct your spelling
corner
show examples
of the hall just next to the information desk.
Computer
Correct article usage
The computer
show examples
section is
transfered
Correct your spelling
transferred
from
upper
Correct article usage
the upper
show examples
to the lower left
room
, latter was used as a reading
room
before. Space
deticated
Correct your spelling
dedicated
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Fiction books has increased in both
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
and
adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
show examples
departments, in the upper left
room
and
right
part of the hall.
Submitted by soroush.nezami on

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Introduction & Conclusion
To strengthen your essay, consider providing a clearer introduction and conclusion. Make sure both reflect your main argument and summarize your points effectively.
Main Body Content
Develop your ideas further with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensive nature of your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to the coherence of your essay. Make sure all parts are logically connected and the flow of thoughts is smooth.
Accuracy
Be mindful of small errors in spelling, grammar, and syntax. Although they don't significantly affect your grade here, improving them will make your argument clearer and more professional.
Addressing the Task
You addressed the topic and presented arguments for why the phenomenon is negative.
Use of Examples
You attempted to use examples to support your points, showing an understanding of essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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