Many people think dangerous sports should be banned. Do you agree or disagree.

#people #sports

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is often argued that people should be prohibited from engaging in

life

-threatening

sports

or not.

This

essay agrees that these

sports

should be declared illegal because of the following reasons.

Firstly

, relying on these activities to make a living is not worth the

money

which can be earned through these

sports

and

second,

it is not a wise choice to pursue anything which puts a precious

life

in danger.

To begin

with, most people involved in dangerous

sports

activity might argue that they can earn a good amount of

money

, and since they have performed it so many times, they are quite confident that it is safe for them.

However

, from my point of view, no matter how many times it has been practised, the risk of

loosing

Replace the word

losing

show examples

life

is the same each time.

Therefore

, even though these activities pay well in terms of

money

, it not worth

Correct article usage

the

show examples

precious

life

we have

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Moreover

, any wise person who clearly understands the risk and return involved in these

sports

would never recommend doing them. The reason for

that is

we can try as many different alternatives as possible

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if we are alive to do so.

For example

, if a person is not earning enough, he/she can upskill and find better options.

Therefore

, doing

life

-threatening activities just with the sole purpose of being rich is foolish in my opinion.

To conclude

, many individuals choose to engage in dangerous

sports

to earn a good amount of

money

however

life

is more precious than any material thing out in the world, and it is totally irrational to do anything for a few dollars

where

Correct word choice

when

show examples

chances of losing a

life

are significantly high.

Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on Tue Apr 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language proficiency

Ensure a variety of complex structures and a wide range of vocabulary are consistently used.

Supporting details

Consider adding more concrete examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments.

Paraphrasing

Try practicing paraphrasing skills to make your introduction and conclusion more impactful while avoiding repetition.

Task Response

The essay presents a clear position throughout.

Coherence

The essay maintains logical flow and progression of ideas.

Examples

You have used relevant examples to support your main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
engagement
incentives
obesity
recreation
well-being
peer pressure
physical fitness
endurance
balance
teamwork
coordination
confidence
self-esteem
discipline
facilities
accessible
affordable
curriculum
extracurricular
inclusion

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many retired people today are choosing to live in other countries. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this?
In some countries, the retired people tend to choose to live outside from their original country. Obviously, they have their own reasons why they want to live like this. Certainly, there are the merits and drawbacks of this decision. The merit is they spend their retirement season in a peaceful place and the drawback is they possibly live far away from their whole family.
7
band
In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this is a positive or negative development?
It is undeniable that individualism has increased significantly among societies for the reason of increasing personal performance. Whether this phenomenon is either positive or negative is questionable. I believe, however, that it could have a positive impact on people’s lives. This essay will extensively outline why this could be a positive occurrence.
6
band
Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Evil, wicked, spoiled.
A growing interest in children’s behaviour has been highlighted over the past decades. From this aspect, questions about if children behave badly, their parents should accept obligation and be punished for the behaviour of their children arise. In my opinion, parents should accept responsibility and also be punished to some extent.
5.5
band
Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests.
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to express my interest in my son's attendant to your school. We are going to move to this city from another one located five hours by car. That is why I am planning everything before our new relocation.
7
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
Locals in certain countries are keen to discover the history of the house or building where they live. This curiosity often stems from the beauty of its architectural design or inspiration from films. There are several ways to fulfill this curiosity, such as asking elders or visiting public libraries.

Many people think dangerous sports should be banned. Do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

Many retired people today are choosing to live in other countries. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this?

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this is a positive or negative development?

Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Evil, wicked, spoiled.

Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?