Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but other believes that children should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is argued that teenagers should be allowed to go to school when they are still at an early age
while
an alternative point of view is that minors do not need to start studying in institutions until they get enough old. This
essay agrees with the latter options and will lay out the reasoning below.
There can be no doubt that early pupils might have a comprehensive foundation to prepare for their higher studies. To begin
with, pre-students can learn a lot of soft skills which lend a hand to them in solving the problems in academic curriculums. As an illustration, there are many pre-kindergartens for the young to assist them be ready for more than fifteen years of studying, including three years of preparing in kindergarten. Hence
, many adults tend to let their children start the academy early to have a well-prepared education for them.
There was, however
, a large number of parents who said that the masses should go to school when they are old enough for their perception of knowledge. Due to
the fact that minors just only understand the problems until they have their own opinions and emotions about them. To exemplify, a BBC record showed that in Japan in 2020, there was more than 70% of pre-mature pupils do not have literacy and numeracy skills although
they have already learnt in kindergarten. Therefore
, youngster should be allowed to study when they are at an age that has their own memory retention.
From my perspective, pupils just only grasp all the information that their teachers taught them until they are aware of those issues. This
means that they need to get older to wait for their developing brain to access enough knowledge. Take Hasaki - a primary school in Japan as a good example, which showed that the rate of high-quality students with and without pre-school lessons was nearly the same. Thus
, parents should think of preparing for their children a well-rounded education rather than letting them start institutions when they are too young.
To conclude
, while
both viewpoints present valid reasons and can be justified. I support the idea that students in the older age will achieve knowledge better than the early ones. Therefore
, adults need to know exactly the time at which their children have their own perceptions and let them be educated.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear response to the task by discussing both views and expressing the author's opinion. However, some points could benefit from further expansion and clarity to enhance depth and comprehensiveness.
task achievement
Work on providing clearer examples that are directly relevant to the points being made. This will strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally effective. However, to gain higher marks, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next and ideas are linked clearly. Use transition words where appropriate to connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
Including a clear and distinct conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your opinion helps in creating a strong sense of closure.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with stronger evidence and more detailed explanations. This will help to make your arguments more persuasive and coherent.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively outlines both viewpoints and states your own opinion, providing a clear framework for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a coherent structure with clear paragraphing, which makes it easy to follow the train of thought.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame your discussion and provide a sense of completeness.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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