Children spend a lot of time watching TV and playing computer games however it does not help in improving their mental abilities.Do you agree or disagree?

It is claimed that plenty of time, which is used to watch films and enjoy computer games, brings no enhancement to children’s mental conditions.
However
, the author of
this
essay disagrees with
this
statement
due to
youngsters’ gaining various knowledge and the flexibility of combining studying and playing. It is crucial to acknowledge that many programs on TV will make it easier for young people to know more about different aspects of knowledge.
This
is because lots of diverse educational shows on TV which are specially designed for children will give various important information and provide numerous valuable learning experiences.
Likewise
, a lot of genres and contents of games which contain historical, scientific or social elements will create a flexible learning environment for teenagers.
This
will be the place where children can access many useful lessons which they may have not studied at school without being bored and uninterested. Another point to take into consideration is the youngsters’ opportunities to entertain and obtain knowledge at the same time. Nowadays, numerous games require active and strategic thinking will need adolescents to develop many necessary skills from dealing with their problems to adapting
Change preposition
to unexpecting
show examples
unexpecting
Correct your spelling
unexpected
show examples
situations
while
they are taking part in their plays which inadvertently helps children to form their habits of thinking quickly.
Moreover
, by listening to a great deal of English songs on TV, teenagers will be able to learn a foreign language effectively as they remember what they like to hear.
Thus
, those devices not only bring entertainment but
also
help young people to become knowledgeable. In conclusion, watching films and playing
Change preposition
on computers
show examples
computers
Change preposition
on computers
show examples
do not always have negative effects on youngsters as they contribute great learning environment and combine relaxing and accessing information.
This
essay has presented that those activities can benefit children’s cognitive abilities.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, consider varying your sentence structures more frequently. This can make your arguments more dynamic and engaging.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to better illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and grounded.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents a clear thesis statement, disagreeing with the notion that children do not benefit mentally from watching TV and playing computer games.
coherence cohesion
Your arguments are logically structured, making it easy for the reader to follow your thought process.
coherence cohesion
You've successfully tied your conclusion back to your thesis, reinforcing your main argument effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • sedentary behavior
  • obesity
  • academic performance
  • social skills
  • mental health
  • attention problems
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • face-to-face interactions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: