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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Write 150 words.

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Write 150 words.
#information #percentage #women #education #five #countries #years
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The bar chart provides key information about the
ratio
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 of females who completed their higher education in five world regions,
in
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between
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 1980 and 2015. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the proportion of
women
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 who joined universities was equivalent, in 1980 and 2015, in Australia.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
ratio
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 of
women
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 who went to universities increased to nearly twice, in 2015 compared to 1980, in South Korea,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
ratio
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 experienced a slight difference in France between the two periods.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the percentage of British
women
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 who went into higher education was about 32%, in 1980, and it soared to around 55%, in 2015.
Similarly
Linking Words
, there was a modest increase, in 2015 in comparison to 1980 from American
women
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 who joined colleges by about 25%. Regarding Australia and France, the
per cent
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percentage
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 of
Austalian
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Australian
 females was identical in the two years approximately about 58%,
while
Linking Words
 the
ratio
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 of
women
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 jumped to 30%, in 2015
to be
Verb problem
,
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 twice
than
Correct word choice
that
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1980
Change preposition
of 1980
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, in South Korea.
Submitted by sm710129 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words ratio, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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