IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that tourists do not learn anything during their holidays, while others believe that they learn a lot. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #tourists #holidays
There has been quite an obvious discussion around the topic of learning from travelling.
While
 some people believe that tourists cannot learn anything during their vacations, others would argue that they may gain new
life
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
show examples
 by getting out of their routine. I will show both sides of view in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, there is no doubt that the aims of the trip could be relaxation, entertainment or engagement with the guide tours which do not let the travellers understand different cultures or learn the way of
life
 where they visit.
This
 is because activities
such
 as staying in resorts and lounging on the beaches often overlook the complexities and curiosity of local
life
 and culture.
For instance
, people who intend to recover from their stress would prefer to stay calm at the accommodation or enjoy the magnificent landscape
instead
 of letting themselves in the local
life
 way.
However
, it is worth pointing out that travel is a powerful educational tool that encourages openness, curiosity and learning new
journal
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journals
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. Engaging with different cultures and environments prompts tourists to step out of their comfort zones which leads to significant personal growth.
This
 is based on the fact that there are many places that have been discovered by tourist during their navigation.
For example
, there is a place in Thailand that was found by a group of travellers
while
 discovering deeper forests in the southern part.
As a result
, vacations could let people learn about new experiences, languages and so on, if they intend to do so. In my opinion, the educational potential of tourism largely depends on the mindset and intentions of the traveller, Those who approach their travel with a willingness to learn, embrace new experiences and put themselves in local communities can indeed learn and personal growth.
On the other hand
, tourism that prioritizes comfort and entertainment over genuine cultural engagement may offer limited opportunities for learning
Submitted by v.mahatkomol on

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Language Use
Be careful with minor spelling errors and ensure the usage of more complex grammatical structures to enhance clarity and fluency.
Coherence and Cohesion
Integrate a wider variety of linking words to ensure smoother transitions between ideas.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more detailed examples and supporting details to enrich your discussion.
Introduction/Conclusion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion.
Coherence
Your main points are well-supported and structured, contributing to a coherent argument.
Examples
Your examples, such as the discovery place in Thailand, are relevant and illustrative of your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • superficial engagement
  • consumption-based interaction
  • nuances of local life
  • personal growth
  • cultural diversity
  • global interconnectivity
  • navigating new landscapes
  • genuine cultural engagement
  • meaningful learning experiences
  • embrace new experiences
What to do next:
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