IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people say that university education should only be offered to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people with varying marks and all ages, even if they did not do well. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

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In recent times,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to
travel
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 more often.
This
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 is because
travel
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 expenditure decreased and the major benefit of
this
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 is that
people
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 can expand their
language
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 skills.
 One of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 why
people
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 are travelling more than ever before is that
travel
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 costs have significantly decreased.
This
Linking Words
 is simply because airlines have lowered their operating costs, leading to
travel
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 tickets becoming cheaper. By limiting the time
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
 stay on the ground, companies have to pay
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 fees to the airport, which generates more revenue for the airline company itself.
For example
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, machines of Easy Jet only spend around 45 minutes on the ground before
departuring
Correct your spelling
departing
departure
 again.
As a result
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, customers can buy a ticket from Frankfurt to London for under ten euros.
Furthermore
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, travelling on a regular basis brings about many benefits,
such
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 as the possibility to learn or practise a new
language
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. In order to navigate through life,
while
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 being a tourist,
people
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 need to be able to communicate in the local
language
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.
As a result
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, they are forced to use
this
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language
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 which can cause massive improvements.
Moreover
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, being able to speak more than one
language
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 makes
people
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 significantly more competitive
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the job market.
For example
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, a lot of students choose to go to an
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 speaking country after high school, as
this
Linking Words
 improves their
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 skills.
 In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 can
travel
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 more frequently because the prices for
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
 transportation have decreased and
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 are benefiting from
language
Use synonyms
 practice.

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task achievement
While the essay provides a clear response to the task, including both the decrease in travel costs and the benefit of language development, it would benefit from a more thorough exploration of these points. Including more detailed examples and implications could enhance the task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally maintains a good logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance overall coherence and cohesion.
supported main points
While main points are supported, the argument regarding decreased travel costs could be elaborated with more depth. For example, mentioning other factors like budget accommodations or increasing competition among airlines would provide a more comprehensive view.
relevant specific examples
To further improve, integrate more relevant and specific examples to better illustrate the points being made. This would make the argument more compelling and relatable.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing different points, and a conclusion. This helps in maintaining coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The task is fully addressed, covering both the decrease in travel costs and the related benefits of increased language skills.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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