Many people say that university education should only be offered to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people with varying marks and all ages, even if they did not do well. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

In recent times,
people
tend to
travel
more often.
This
is because
travel
expenditure decreased and the major benefit of
this
is that
people
can expand their
language
skills.
 One of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
why
people
are travelling more than ever before is that
travel
costs have significantly decreased.
This
is simply because airlines have lowered their operating costs, leading to
travel
tickets becoming cheaper. By limiting the time
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
stay on the ground, companies have to pay
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
fees to the airport, which generates more revenue for the airline company itself.
For example
, machines of Easy Jet only spend around 45 minutes on the ground before
departuring
Correct your spelling
departing
departure
again.
As a result
, customers can buy a ticket from Frankfurt to London for under ten euros.
Furthermore
, travelling on a regular basis brings about many benefits,
such
as the possibility to learn or practise a new
language
. In order to navigate through life,
while
being a tourist,
people
need to be able to communicate in the local
language
.
As a result
, they are forced to use
this
language
which can cause massive improvements.
Moreover
, being able to speak more than one
language
makes
people
significantly more competitive
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the job market.
For example
, a lot of students choose to go to an
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
speaking country after high school, as
this
improves their
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
skills.
 In conclusion,
people
can
travel
more frequently because the prices for
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
transportation have decreased and
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
are benefiting from
language
practice.
Submitted by philipp_becker on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay provides a clear response to the task, including both the decrease in travel costs and the benefit of language development, it would benefit from a more thorough exploration of these points. Including more detailed examples and implications could enhance the task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally maintains a good logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance overall coherence and cohesion.
supported main points
While main points are supported, the argument regarding decreased travel costs could be elaborated with more depth. For example, mentioning other factors like budget accommodations or increasing competition among airlines would provide a more comprehensive view.
relevant specific examples
To further improve, integrate more relevant and specific examples to better illustrate the points being made. This would make the argument more compelling and relatable.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing different points, and a conclusion. This helps in maintaining coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The task is fully addressed, covering both the decrease in travel costs and the related benefits of increased language skills.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!