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The values that we learn from our parents and family have greater influence on our future success than knowledge and skills we learn at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#values #parents #influence #future #success #skills #school
The factors behind
success
 are miscellaneous with different degrees of impression that have raised controversy among
people
. In
this
 regard, some claim that
values
 taught in families play a more significant role than
knowledge
 and
skills
 presented at
schools
. I, for one, do not subscribe to
this
 theory as education offered by
schools
 is more purposefully and meticulously designed and provides individuals with a broader range of information required for prosperity. First of all, authorities have implemented the prerequisites of
success
 in the school’s curriculum. After decades of extensive research and studying experiences of highly attained elites, scholars figured out the fundamental requirements of
success
.
Then
, they mindfully designed educational programs that conduct students towards a prosperous personal and professional life. As a case in point, many achievers in a variety of fields
such
 as business and science
pose
Verb problem
possess
show examples
 great problem-solving
skills
 which contribute to addressing issues that seem unsolvable for ordinary
people
.
Hence
,
schools
 have incorporated
this
 concept into their schemes.
Additionally
,
success
 is multifaceted and requires a wide range of
knowledge
 and
skills
 that are only presented at educational institutes. In order to become a high attainer,
people
 need to pass through ups and downs and remove numerous barriers which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 they should have a sufficient amount of
knowledge
, be able to communicate effectively and stay mentally and physically healthy. As an illustration, establishing a sturdy business requires an entrepreneur who is sociable to do negotiations, knowledgeable to develop the products or services and healthy to make sound decisions. Thankfully, all these subjects are taught in
schools
.
However
, some argue that
values
 that a person learns at home exert greater influence on their blossom later in life. They support their claim with the idea that these
values
 shape children’s minds and later determine their behaviour
such
 as punctuality, hard work, perseverance and optimism. They believe if youngsters were exposed to
such
values
 in family,
this
 would help them to live their life in a productive manner and education offered in
schools
 is less important. Notwithstanding, in contemporary society almost all
values
 are
also
 taught in
schools
, leaving no room for venerating familial
values
 over academic
knowledge
. To recapitulate, a number of
people
 prioritize family
values
 over academic
skills
 and wisdom. I completely disagree with them as formal curricula are deliberately designed to lead the student to fortune and cater for all the different aspects of
success
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument. However, the logical flow could be improved. Transition sentences between paragraphs would make the essay smoother and help maintain a coherent flow of ideas.
task achievement
You provide a complete response to the prompt, but to elevate your essay to the next level, try to weave more relevant specific examples and deeper analysis into your argument. This will make your ideas more convincing and nuanced.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, helping to frame your essay effectively.
task achievement
Your response fully addresses the task prompt, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • future success
  • family values
  • knowledge and skills
  • shape
  • beliefs
  • behavior
  • emotional support
  • encouragement
  • academic education
  • discipline
  • time management
  • contribute to
  • extent
  • agree
  • disagree
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