More and more people are moving from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work . What will be the consequences of this ? What solutions can you offer?

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In
modern
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the modern

The noun phrase modern era seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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era, numerous individuals are Migrating from villages to cities to get work.
Hence
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,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority

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of villagers are
farmers
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and they care from
agricultural
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an agricultural

The noun phrase agricultural background seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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background. But,
due to
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reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced

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numbers
in
Change preposition
of

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farm workers there are several consequences which are faced by the world .so, some effects of the given view are
further
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discussed in the upcoming paragraphs with valid examples and explanations
as well as
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some solutions to tackle
this
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problem
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Discussing the major effects of the
problem
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, the first and prominent one is that,
due to
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the decrease in
number
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a number
the number

It appears that the phrase number does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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of
farmers
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,
production
Correct article usage
the production

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of fruits, vegetables, cereals, and
many
Change the quantifier
much

It appears that the adjective quantifier many is in the place of an adverb. Consider replacing it.

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more essential
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food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods

It seems that food may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to sustain living
begins
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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such
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as humans and animals may
dropped
Change the verb form
drop
be dropped

The verb dropped after the modal verb may does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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down in numbers .
As a result
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, fewer people will get
food
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and
also
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due to
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the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply

Oops! It appears that you typed the twice in a row. Consider deleting one of them.

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lack of
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Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Correct determiner usage
these

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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resources
Add a comma
resources,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase due to the the lack of this resources. Consider adding a comma.

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their
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices

It seems that price may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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will
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

rise up significantly.
Therefore
Linking Words

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, people who live in poverty or
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have

It seems that the verb has does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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very less income won't be able to purchase
food
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

may
led
Change the verb form
lead

The verb led after the modal verb may does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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to death of the folks
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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ever worse they can
committes
Correct your spelling
commit

If you don’t want committes to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes

It seems that crime may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as robbery in order to live and provide
food
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for themselves or their families. Apart from these , the notions all over the world may start a war against each other. In
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

way, a
lot
Correct your spelling
large

The word lot doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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number of people will die and numerous countries will be destroyed in order to
achieve
Verb problem
obtain

There may be a verb use issue here.

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food
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from other nations by any
methods
Fix the agreement mistake
method

It seems that methods may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

con
Correct your spelling
can

The word con doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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be the
consequences
Fix the agreement mistake
consequence

It seems that consequences may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of the
problem
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
However
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, to tackle
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

the authorities should motivate and spread
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness

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among
farmers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Further
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they should provide
ransom
Add an article
a ransom

The noun phrase ransom seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of money to farm
Correct your spelling
workers
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workes
Correct your spelling
workers

The word workes doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, so they will not migrate to other towns to look for work
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

provide
best
Change the article
the best

It appears that the phrase best quality does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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quality of farm equipment
with
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a very little price
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

will motivate the
farmers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in doing farming.
To sum up
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, there are several consequences
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
rise
Correct article usage
a rise

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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in the price of
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

products and war against each other by nations if folks from agricultural
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds

It seems that background may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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drops
Correct subject-verb agreement
drop

It seems that the verb drops does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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in number.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the Government must support them by providing various facilities
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase

The noun phrase increase seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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in their income and
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts

It seems that discount may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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farming tools.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical organization of your essay. While your essay demonstrates a structured approach, enhancing the flow through better transitions between paragraphs could improve readability.
Language
Incorporate a variety of complex sentence structures to demonstrate language proficiency. While your essay shows capability, diversifying sentence types can further engage the reader.
Task Achievement
Your essay covers the topic comprehensively, addressing both consequences and solutions effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
You’ve made a good effort to organize your ideas logically, with a structured introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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