IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

While social media platforms can have their benefits, using them too much can make you feel increasingly unhappy and decrease your self-esteem in the long run. Discuss with examples.

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In today’s world, social
media
Use synonyms
 has become integral to our daily routines, serving as a means of communication and entertainment. Social networks provide many advantages,
whereas
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 if individuals consume them excessively, they will affect
with
Change preposition
apply
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your
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 mental health. 
This
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 article will explore the impact of
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
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internet
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of internet
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 networks
immoderate
Correct word choice
apply
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by providing perspectives on the negative aspects. There is various content
in
Change preposition
on
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 social networking websites
such
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 as
one day
Add a hyphen
one-day
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 vlog with me or luxurious travelling. Most
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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in
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on
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 social
media
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 sites provide unrealistic
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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, showing sole optimistic mood,
making
Correct word choice
and making
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 individuals compare themselves to influencers, so these can lead to self-dissatisfaction, self-doubt and
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
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self-esteem
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in self-esteem
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.
Moreover
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,
utilization
Correct article usage
the utilization
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social
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of social
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media
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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effect
Correct your spelling
affects
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 not only audiences but
also
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 the
media
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 producers.
In the
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The
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 online platforms are unrestrained to comments or
criticizes
Replace the word
criticism
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 and
gave
Wrong verb form
give
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 freedom of speech to viewers. If they are adverse comments, it will lead to many impacts.
For instance
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, persistent unfavorable feedback may contribute to feelings of depression,
drain
Correct word choice
and drain
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 energy and motivation.
Consequently
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, content creators may isolate themselves or withdraw social
interacted
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interaction
show examples
 from others to avoid criticism, leading to mental health illness. In conclusion, online communities produce plenty
adverse
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of adverse
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effect
Change the noun form
effects
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such
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 as self-doubt and depression to both
senders
Correct your spelling
readers
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 and viewers.
Therefore
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, we should utilize social
media
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 critically.

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Task Achievement
Ensure to provide well-structured examples to support your claims. Using specific, real-world instances makes your argument more persuasive and engaging.
Coherence & Cohesion
Aim for variety in sentence structures to enhance readability and make your essay more dynamic.
General
Revisit the essay to correct grammatical inaccuracies and refine word choice for clearer expression.
Task Achievement
You have presented a clear thesis statement, indicating advantages and disadvantages of social media effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay presents a logical flow of ideas, especially with the transition from introduction to body paragraphs.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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