Some people think that governments should use the money to provide faster means of public transport, while others are concerned that there are many more important priorities than public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Several individuals say that governments should spend money to improve faster means of public transportation;
however
, others think that there are more issues that need to be prioritised than public vehicles
. Personally, I agree with both views because of some major reasons which I shall explain in more detail in this
essay.
To begin
, it is clear that
, the government should prioritize investing in faster means of public transport in big cities
because the problems of traffic congestion and pollution from the emission of vehicles
are increasingly serious in these. This
causes negative effects on people's physical and mental health. For example
, In big cities
in my country, Vietnam, people face traffic jams for hours every day after work in peak time. They have to absorb an amount of emission from different vehicles
during that time unexpectedly. This
makes citizens feel very tired and just want to stay at home and go to sleep after work. Consequently
, individuals living in modern cities
in my country is easy to have sick and limited socialization as well as
enhancing pressure of travelling.
On the other hand
, if the government allocates finance to provide public transport in the countryside where the population is less than in the modern city is not justified because there are many more urgent problems such
as a lack of education of youngsters from poor families. For instance
, in my hometown where the residents are small, only a few vehicles
are on the streets but there are a major number of children coming from problem families needing help to access education. Therefore
, in this
case, spending to help children improve their living standards and go to school is more necessary than public transport.
In conclusion, in this
essay, I support that governments should spend money to improve faster means of public transportation in modern cities
where there are big troubles with traffic and pollution. Additionally
, emphasize investing in other issues such
as disadvantageous finance, education, and so on. in rural areas where the population is too little to use public transportationSubmitted by writingeilts on
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coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is generally effective with clear delineation of ideas, but further development of each paragraph's key points would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
There were a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases (e.g., 'emission of vehicles,' 'is easy to have sick'), which slightly hindered readability. Proofreading for such issues would improve clarity.
task achievement
Ensure to address the opposing viewpoint more thoroughly, as it adds depth and balance to the essay, enhancing its overall effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be rephrased for clearer understanding. For example: 'Consequently, individuals living in modern cities in my country is easy to have sick' should be 'Consequently, individuals living in modern cities in my country are more susceptible to illnesses.'
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion and reiterating the main points.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the situation in Vietnam, add a practical dimension to the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear focus and outlines distinct viewpoints, which helps the reader follow the argumentation.