IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter • explain why you want to reduce your working hours • say which hours you would like to work • describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir, Letter of Request I am writing to request a reduction in my weekly working
hours
Use synonyms
 because I would like to
further
Linking Words
 my studies on a part-time basis.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I recently got admission to study Artificial Intelligence for my postgraduate studies.
This
Linking Words
 is a dream come true for me, as I had previously applied, but my application was declined.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I would like to plead with you to cut down my working
hours
Use synonyms
 from 40
hours
Use synonyms
 weekly to 20
hours
Use synonyms
 weekly, as
this
Linking Words
 would enable me to concentrate on my studies and help me to have more time to
be focused
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
 on researching my thesis. I know
this
Linking Words
 would mean having to employ a part-time employee to complete some of my tasks, but you do not have to worry about that. I spoke to Hayley, and she has agreed to cover my shift throughout the 1-year duration of my program.
Moreover
Linking Words
, my knowledge of Artificial Intelligence would be of immense benefit to the company, as we have always had to call on Maxwell from outside organizations to work on our AI-related tasks. I believe if I concentrate well, I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be able to assist with the AI tasks, thereby saving more money for the company. I hope my request is considered. I look forward to your response. Yours faithfully, Bunmi Ade.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
While your letter is clear and logical, providing a bit more detail on how your studies will benefit the company would further strengthen your task response. For instance, you could elaborate on how your AI skills could directly contribute to existing projects.
Suitable Writing Tone
Make sure to maintain a formal tone throughout the letter. While the tone is mostly appropriate, phrases like 'you do not have to worry about that' could be more formally phrased as 'this concern has been addressed by arranging cover with Hayley'.
Logical Structure
Your letter has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Single Idea per Paragraph
You successfully separated each main idea into its own paragraph, which enhances readability.
Greeting and Closing
Your greeting and closing are appropriately formal for a letter to an employer.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: