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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people argue that usage of technology (Mobile technology) is not helping for people to socialize Do you Agree or disagree?

#people #usage #technology
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One of the most common ways to communicate in
this
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 world nowadays is through
phones
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. A group of people argue that
this
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 type of technology is not beneficial for the population to socialize. I do not agree with
this
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 statement because
this
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 invention has several advantages , i will discuss both sides and relevant examples. Nowadays, interacting with citizens has become very convenient,
due to
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,
invention
Correct article usage
the invention
show examples
 of mobile
phones
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. Decades ago one of the major problems that humanity struggled with was sending messages over far distances usually,
this
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 process had a massive delay and quick response was an imaginary subject,
however
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, thanks to
this
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 method now is as simple as clicking on a few buttons.
Additionally
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, accuracy has improved simultaneously because during transmission there are no items so distortion will be reduced to the lowest amount. I think these points make our lives much simpler and
as a result
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, When we can communicate easily our social skills will develop respectively.
On the other hand
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, just relying on
phones
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 and considering
this
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way
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 as the main part will gradually impact our social skills because we can not feel those senses in the real world
also
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that is
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 just an artificial and temporary
way
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 and to prevent
this
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 occurrence is better to stabilize the balance between physical and phone communication to be able to avoid the traps of Mentioned
way
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 of community between habitats. All in all, using mobile
phones
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 has increased and a group believe
this
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way
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 is not positive,
however
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, I think it is helpful and makes us interact with each other simply
also
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 it may have a drawback but by making balance through these real and artificial ways will introduce a new stage of communication between society
Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on

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Task Achievement
Try to ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction. Your position should be evident from the beginning.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific real-world examples to strengthen your argument and make your points more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance readability and engagement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using clear paragraphing to signal changes in ideas or arguments. Each paragraph should contain a single idea, supported by examples or explanations.
Task Achievement
You effectively discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile technology, showing a balanced approach.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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