Some people argue that usage of technology (Mobile technology) is not helping for people to socialize Do you Agree or disagree?

#people #usage #technology

One of the most common ways to communicate in

this

world nowadays is through

phones

. A group of people argue that

this

type of technology is not beneficial for the population to socialize. I do not agree with

this

statement because

this

invention has several advantages , i will discuss both sides and relevant examples. Nowadays, interacting with citizens has become very convenient,

due to

invention

Correct article usage

the invention

show examples

of mobile

phones

. Decades ago one of the major problems that humanity struggled with was sending messages over far distances usually,

this

process had a massive delay and quick response was an imaginary subject,

however

, thanks to

this

method now is as simple as clicking on a few buttons.

Additionally

, accuracy has improved simultaneously because during transmission there are no items so distortion will be reduced to the lowest amount. I think these points make our lives much simpler and

as a result

, When we can communicate easily our social skills will develop respectively.

On the other hand

, just relying on

phones

and considering

this

way

as the main part will gradually impact our social skills because we can not feel those senses in the real world

also

that is

just an artificial and temporary

way

and to prevent

this

occurrence is better to stabilize the balance between physical and phone communication to be able to avoid the traps of Mentioned

way

of community between habitats. All in all, using mobile

phones

has increased and a group believe

this

way

is not positive,

however

, I think it is helpful and makes us interact with each other simply

also

it may have a drawback but by making balance through these real and artificial ways will introduce a new stage of communication between society

Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on Wed Apr 03 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction. Your position should be evident from the beginning.

Task Achievement

Incorporate more specific real-world examples to strengthen your argument and make your points more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance readability and engagement.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider using clear paragraphing to signal changes in ideas or arguments. Each paragraph should contain a single idea, supported by examples or explanations.

Task Achievement

You effectively discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile technology, showing a balanced approach.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay follows a logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people argue that usage of technology (Mobile technology) is not helping for people to socialize Do you Agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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