IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museum

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museum
#visitors #four #museum
The provided diagram presents data about the
number
 of
visitors
 to four international
museums
 (
Louvre
, Vatican
Museums
, London Science
Museum
, and Shenzhen
Museum
) from 1980 to 2015. Looking from an
overall
 perspective, the
number
 of
visitors
gone
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to
Louvre
Correct article usage
the Louvre
show examples
 and Vatican
Museums
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 gradually climbing,
while
 visits to
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 Science
Museum
 were reducing over time.
Moreover
, Shenzhen
Museum
 was visited by approximately the same
number
 of
visitors
 in 35 years. Getting back to the details, it is observed,
there
Correct word choice
that there
show examples
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 an upward tendency in the
number
 of
visitors
 to the
Louvre
, except
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
between 1995 and 2000. In 1995,
Louvre
Correct article usage
the Louvre
show examples
Museum
 was visited
nearly
Change preposition
by nearly
show examples
 less than 8 million people, their
number
reached
Wrong verb form
will reach
show examples
 a peak of almost more than 9
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, in 2025. The table data clearly shows that at the beginning of the period, as nearly 5 million people visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
Vatican
museums
, the
number
 of
visitors
 to
this
 place
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 climbing in 35 years and hit a high of approximately 9
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2015. It is clear from the data, visits to
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 Science
Museum
 were deteriorating over time even though there
were remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 unchanged
visitors
, which of 4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, in the first 5 years.
At the end
 of the period, the
number
 of
visitors
 to
this
museum
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 less than half the beginning of
this
. As can be seen in the diagram the
number
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Shenzhen
Museum
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 stabilizing, and their numbers were the same
number
 of nearly just 4 million in 1995 and 2015.
Submitted by sabinanezar93 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, museums, louvre, museum with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼

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