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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museum

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museum
The provided diagram presents data about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
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 to four international
museums
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 (
Louvre
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, Vatican
Museums
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, London Science
Museum
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, and Shenzhen
Museum
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) from 1980 to 2015. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, the
number
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 of
visitors
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gone
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to
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Louvre
Correct article usage
the Louvre
show examples
 and Vatican
Museums
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 gradually climbing,
while
Linking Words
 visits to
London
Correct article usage
the London
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 Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 were reducing over time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Shenzhen
Museum
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 was visited by approximately the same
number
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 of
visitors
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 in 35 years. Getting back to the details, it is observed,
there
Correct word choice
that there
show examples
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 an upward tendency in the
number
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 of
visitors
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 to the
Louvre
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, except
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
between 1995 and 2000. In 1995,
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Louvre
Correct article usage
the Louvre
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Museum
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 was visited
nearly
Change preposition
by nearly
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 less than 8 million people, their
number
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reached
Wrong verb form
will reach
show examples
 a peak of almost more than 9
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, in 2025. The table data clearly shows that at the beginning of the period, as nearly 5 million people visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
Vatican
museums
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, the
number
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 of
visitors
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 to
this
Linking Words
 place
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 climbing in 35 years and hit a high of approximately 9
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2015. It is clear from the data, visits to
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 Science
Museum
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 were deteriorating over time even though there
were remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 unchanged
visitors
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, which of 4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, in the first 5 years.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the period, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to
this
Linking Words
museum
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were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 less than half the beginning of
this
Linking Words
. As can be seen in the diagram the
number
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Shenzhen
Museum
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 stabilizing, and their numbers were the same
number
Use synonyms
 of nearly just 4 million in 1995 and 2015.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, museums, louvre, museum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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