IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

These days many people have their own computeres and telephones, so it is quite easy for them to work at home. DOes working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages

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Spreading technology is completely common through
this
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 generation and these days number of people have access to all sorts of technologies
such
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 as computers and phones. The function of
this
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 development is people are able to
work
Use synonyms
 from their homes and
this
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 occurrence has its own advantages and disadvantages. I will discuss both sides and give relevant examples.
To begin
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 with, the impacts of new inventions are inevitable and have Changed our lives, a field that I want to discuss is remote working.
This
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 new method of working has benefits
such
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 as letting staff organize their
work
Use synonyms
hours
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 and
also
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 be able to spend time more with their families. One of the major drawbacks of
work
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 was having a very stable schedule and employees had to obey that role and they had to stabilize their lives with that program,
however
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 , thanks to new methods people can alter their
work
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hours
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 and do their responsibilities
day long
Add a hyphen
day-long
show examples
.
Additionally
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, these fluctuating
hours
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 let society spend more time with their families and can play a more effective role in their loved
ones
Change noun form
ones'
one's
show examples
 lives.
For example
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, during the coronavirus pandemic, most managers and
also
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 staff worked from their homes and after finishing the pandemic they mentioned that their efficiency increased because the population were able they
work
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, some occupations are very Sensitive and need both experience and physical activity,
For instance
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 when an engine breaks down and needs repairment ,it is not appropriate for a beginner repairman to repair it and just do steps under the watch of an experienced one because those jobs are sensitive and include steps that need to be observed and controlled continuously.
As a result
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,
this
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 process is not effective for physical jobs and it will decrease the accuracy and reliability of these occupations. In conclusion, computers and other inventions have spread throughout the world and new methods of working emerged as remote staff. It has benefits as employees have more time to be with their families and improve their efficiency ,
however
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, there are some areas where
this
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 occurrence will decrease the accuracy and dwindle its reliance

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structure
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed, providing a roadmap for your essay.
conclusion
Consider adding a conclusion that not only summarizes the main points but also provides a clear stance on the topic, enhancing the reader's understanding of your position.
content
While providing examples, aim for specificity that directly supports your claims, enhancing the persuasiveness of your argument.
grammar
Mind the punctuation and ensure correct usage to improve the clarity and readability of your text.
content
You effectively discussed both advantages and disadvantages, maintaining a balanced argument throughout.
examples
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic with relevant examples that support your points.
structure
You employed a logical structure in the main body paragraphs, organizing them clearly around topics.
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