IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that current environmental issues are global problems and should therefore be dealt with by the government, while others believe that these problems can only be tackled by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Environmental concerns have affected worldwide leading to serious outputs
such
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 as global warming, massive destruction of the atmosphere, and intensifying the greenhouse effect, etc.
Although
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 many solutions have been proposed, many people argue that these should be executed by governments,
while
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 many others suggest that both counterparts should apply some techniques in order to decelerate the rate of environmental destruction. To start with, pollution has risen
into
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to
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 uncharted levels owing to the massive production of big companies, industries, or factories.
Then
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, some laws have to be set up to establish control and change the resources that are used by them.
For instance
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, McDonalds, Nestle, or
Coca Cola
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Coca-Cola
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 must be under regulations in which they have to use renewable energies by fossil fuel, coal and gas combustion.
Besides
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, deforestation and harvesting
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of trees
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trees
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of trees
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 must be controlled owing to the fact that millions of
kilometers
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kilometres
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 of forests have been burnt, especially between Colombia and Brazil in a specific location called "Amazonia".
On the other hand
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, individuals should be educated in order to be aware of environmental issues
as well as
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 ways to reduce the damage.
For instance
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, in Colombia, there are many strategies for teaching about ecosystems and how to take care of them, either in
schools
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schools,
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 children learn how to recycle and sort residues or some advertisements are around the city. Among those messages to be transmitted are the importance of taking shorter showers, using recycled paper and implementing techniques like solar energy.
To sum up
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, environmental consciousness is not only for the governments, but
also
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 for the population, and everyone should deploy their best processes to conserve the environment as
natural
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naturally
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 as possible.

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Structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Clearly signal the transition from one idea to the next.
Content Depth
Deepen your analysis of the topic by exploring the arguments more thoroughly. While you've presented both sides of the argument, elaborating on the ramifications could enhance the overall depth of your essay.
Vocabulary Range
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas. This not only demonstrates your language proficiency but also makes your essay more engaging.
Grammar and Complexity
Be cautious of small grammatical errors and aim for complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Balanced Argument
You have effectively addressed both sides of the argument, showcasing an understanding of the task.
Clear Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing your essay and summarizing your stance.
Organization
Your essay is well-organized, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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