The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010.

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010.
The given maps illustrated
road
access to
a
Change the article
an
show examples
urban clinic in 2007 and in 2010.
Overall
, the access to the
city
hospital changed drastically with a car park not only for the workers but
also
for the public.
Also
, it can be seen that there has been development for a roundabout.
To begin
with, in 2007, the ring
road
situated
Add a missing verb
was situated
show examples
in the north of the map and just below you can see the
city
clinic is located in the centre of the ring
road
.
Moreover
, a hospital
road
is branched from the ring
road
,
is
Correct word choice
and is
show examples
located to the south with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
six bus
stop
Fix the agreement mistake
stops
show examples
.
Additionally
, both the
staff
as well as
the general shared the same parking
space
just next to the bus stop.
Furthermore
, to the south of the map, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
a
city
road
which branched not only the west but
also
the east.
In contrast
, in 2010, the access to the clinic
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
completely transformed.
Firstly
, the
staff
and public car park
divided
Add a missing verb
are divided
show examples
into separate parking
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the public has their parking
space
located in the east near the hospital, the
staff
has their own in the east near the
city
road
.
Secondly
, a bus station has been constructed to the southwest with a two roundabout.
However
, the ring
road
as well as
the
city
road
remained the same. Through the
redevelopment
Add a comma
redevelopment,
show examples
the problem of parking
space
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
staff
and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
has changed.
Submitted by munguldei.pianist on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, as well as".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words road, city, staff, space with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • dual carriageway
  • roundabout
  • traffic flow
  • multi-story car park
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian provisions
  • footpaths
  • traffic signals
  • construction phase
  • ambulances
  • carriageway expansion
  • traffic congestion
  • pedestrian crossings
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure development
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