IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010.

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010.
#two #maps #show #road #access #city
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The given maps illustrated
road
Use synonyms
 access to
a
Change the article
an
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 urban clinic in 2007 and in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the access to the
city
Use synonyms
 hospital changed drastically with a car park not only for the workers but
also
Linking Words
 for the public.
Also
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there has been development for a roundabout.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 2007, the ring
road
Use synonyms
situated
Add a missing verb
was situated
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 in the north of the map and just below you can see the
city
Use synonyms
 clinic is located in the centre of the ring
road
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a hospital
road
Use synonyms
 is branched from the ring
road
Use synonyms
,
is
Correct word choice
and is
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 located to the south with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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six bus
stop
Fix the agreement mistake
stops
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, both the
staff
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 the general shared the same parking
space
Use synonyms
 just next to the bus stop.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, to the south of the map, there
were
Change the verb form
was
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 a
city
Use synonyms
road
Use synonyms
 which branched not only the west but
also
Linking Words
 the east.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in 2010, the access to the clinic
has
Verb problem
was
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 completely transformed.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
staff
Use synonyms
 and public car park
divided
Add a missing verb
are divided
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 into separate parking
Use synonyms
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the public has their parking
space
Use synonyms
 located in the east near the hospital, the
staff
Use synonyms
 has their own in the east near the
city
Use synonyms
road
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a bus station has been constructed to the southwest with a two roundabout.
However
Linking Words
, the ring
road
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 the
city
Use synonyms
road
Use synonyms
 remained the same. Through the
redevelopment
Add a comma
redevelopment,
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 the problem of parking
space
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
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 the
staff
Use synonyms
 and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 has changed.
Submitted by munguldei.pianist on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, as well as".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words road, city, staff, space with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • dual carriageway
  • roundabout
  • traffic flow
  • multi-story car park
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian provisions
  • footpaths
  • traffic signals
  • construction phase
  • ambulances
  • carriageway expansion
  • traffic congestion
  • pedestrian crossings
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure development
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