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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people prefer to live in rented homes. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend

#people #homes #trend
It is considered that most of the people prefer to live in rented houses rather than buying own house.
This
 essay will discuss the advantages along the disadvantages of
this
 notion in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with merits,the predominant ones are low price and convenience.
In other words
,individuals can find furnished apartments at cheap prices.They do not need to buy furniture and it saves capital.As
,
Remove the comma
apply
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most of the basements include all utilities they do not need to spend wages.
In addition
 to
this
,human being's standards have become high.
Instead
 of spending payment on houses they prefer to use money on expensive cars, electronic gadgets, restaurants and many more.
For instance
, these days with the increase in property rates and expenses ,taxes are
also
 high ,so in that case, tenants do not need to pay anything .They just pay their monthly salary.
As a result
,these days masses are moving to leased houses.
Further
 shifting towards demerits, leased buildings are temporary.To explicate it,if one is subletting a condominium they have to follow certain regulations.
Moreover
,at certain times they have to pay for utilities and they can ask you to leave whenever the owner wants.
Then
 one has to find another place again.To epitome,most people ask certain times to sign a lease for a minimum of 6 months or for a year and they get bonded.If they leave they still have to pay rent.
On the other hand
,in one's own house person does not need to worry about anything. In conclusion,
although
 letting has certain consequences in some cases it is
also
 affordable and convenient.
Submitted by nandnilekhi on

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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear overview of the advantages and disadvantages of living in rented homes, with relevant examples. However, to further enhance your task achievement score, try including more detailed and varied examples that clearly support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. Additionally, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for improved clarity.
Task Achievement
You effectively discuss both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and functional, providing a good framework for your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Housing market
  • Lease agreement
  • Tenant
  • Landlord
  • Equity
  • Mortgage
  • Property maintenance
  • Financial commitment
  • Short-term leases
  • Relocation flexibility
  • Rental agreement
  • Residential stability
  • Investment potential
  • Amenities
  • Modification restrictions
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