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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

News plays an important part of most people’s lives. Why there is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead?

#news #part #people’s #lives #focus
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News
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 is like a mirror reflecting our lives, showing us what's happening in the
world
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 around us. Over the past decades, the presence of recent
news
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 has become an important part of our lives.
Moreover
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, it is important to note that people rely on
stories
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 screened on TV. Bad
news
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 is everywhere in the
media
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because of
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for
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 two main reasons: how people feel and how
media
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 companies make money.
First,
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people are naturally more interested in bad
news
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 because it makes them feel strong emotions like fear and worry.
This
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 grabs their attention.
Second,
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media
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 companies want to make as much money as possible.
This
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 often means they choose negative
stories
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 because they know they will cause a strong reaction, even if they don't show the full picture of what's really going on.
However
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, highlighting positive
stories
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 not only provides a more balanced view of the
world
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 but
also
Linking Words
 gives a more accurate representation of the
world
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 because it takes into account the entire range of human
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
Moreover
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, positive
news
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 can spark a sense of hope and resilience in communities. Providing information on progress and innovation can lead to a more optimistic public point of view. In conclusion, a balanced approach to
media
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 reporting is essential, recognizing the importance of both bad
news
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 and good
news
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.
While
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 the prevalence of bad
news
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 may be driven by psychological factors and profit motives, highlighting positive
stories
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 paints a more accurate and uplifting picture of the
world
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, which is still very useful.
Submitted by libranefertiti93 on

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coherence cohesion
To score higher in coherence and cohesion, aim to use a wider range of linking devices and transitions. You've shown good logical structure, but varying your connectors and transitional phrases can make your essay flow even better.
task achievement
To improve in Task Achievement, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses the prompt. While you've discussed the prevalence of bad news and suggested a balance, going deeper into why the balance is necessary and how it can be achieved might enrich your response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which makes your argument easy to follow.
task achievement
You effectively use examples to support your main points, making your argument more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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