Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disavantages of being self-employed?

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The prevalence of entrepreneurs has reached a peak during the
last
decade
as well as
people
working by themselves. There are many reasons that explain
this
situation,
however
, I consider that the most important is that humankind really
desire
Change the verb form
desires
show examples
to reach their dreams by performing their own projects. Despite having many benefits, it
also
has many stumbling blocks.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
essay will explain
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
show examples
and drawbacks that explain
this
event.
To begin
with, during ancient times most
people
used to have their own businesses that
results
Wrong verb form
resulted
show examples
from their
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
,
thus
most following generations were in charge of the companies that their families had created. After that, it was modified because of the economic variations and new policies implemented by governments and the
burgeous
Correct your spelling
bourgeois
burgers
class during the Middle
Age
Fix the agreement mistake
Ages
show examples
.
Therefore
, the population had to work in order to accomplish their
governors
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governor's
show examples
requiriments
Correct your spelling
requirements
.
Nevertheless
, since the necessity of
creatining
Correct your spelling
creating
cutting-edge tools has gone up, humanity has
opened
Verb problem
apply
show examples
created a myriad of innovative technologies and,
as a consequence
of
this
, more
people
have decided to open their own factories by leveraging their creativity.
Conversely
,
although
it is well known that being a self-employer has many advantages
such
as managing our own time, there are many disadvantages that should be taken into account.
For instance
, the administration of the company
as well as
the resources have to be managed by the owner rather than other workers,
hence
the
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
peaked and all
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
show examples
are depending
Wrong verb form
depends
show examples
on the quality of work that you perform.
For instance
, in Colombia, there was one of the biggest companies of investments in Latin America called 'DMG',
nonetheless
,
due to
the
innapropriate
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
management of the monetary resources, it went to bankruptcy in 2020.
Consequently
, hundreds of
people
lost their jobs.
To sum up
, it has been really common to create own companies and factories in order to reach our targets,
however
, entrepreneurs who decide to follow those steps should carefully evaluate the fields in which they really desire to work by contemplating not only merits by
also
responsabilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively covers the topic, but to enhance your Task Achievement score, try to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. General statements and historical references may lack the immediate relevance required.
coherence cohesion
For improved Coherence and Cohesion, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Using more linking words or phrases will make your essay easier to read and follow. Additionally, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports your overall argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is compelling and sets the stage for your argument effectively. It clearly states the main topic and outlines what the essay will cover.
logical structure
Your essay is well-structured with a logical flow of ideas, which makes it easy to understand your main points and argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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