In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules?
Different countries have different approaches to bringing up those
children
. Some of them allow children
to do anything thay
want, and others have strict Correct your spelling
they
rules
.
The modern world has plenty variants
of behaviour Change preposition
of variants
rules
some countries and cultures are closer to strict rules
and some prefer to avoid them. Strict rules
of behaviour will help to educate children
in proper
way, but who decides that Add an article
a proper
the proper
this
way is really better then
another? Replace the word
than
Children
in China are very disciplined and lern
natural sciences better Correct your spelling
learn
then
others and it helps them to be successful in future. Replace the word
than
Also
Add a comma
,
rules
can teach children
to respect other people
and how to play Correct article usage
an impontant
impontant
role in society.
Correct your spelling
important
However
, flexible rules
or Correct article usage
the absense
absense
of them often persuade Correct your spelling
absence
children
to explore world
by themselves and it helps them to learn a lot of different things. Add an article
the world
People
, who grow in this
setting can develop their talants
freely, without any restrictions. Correct your spelling
talents
Moreover
, this
approach helps creative people
to find themselves. But sometimes, childrens
, who don't have any boundaries can be very annoying, or Correct your spelling
children
than
can face problems, which Replace the word
then
thay
can't solve without their parents.
In my opinion, parents have to find something in the middle between Correct your spelling
they
of
both approaches. Some Change preposition
apply
rules
can be userful
and life-saving, but Correct your spelling
useful
other
can Fix the agreement mistake
others
supress
Correct your spelling
suppress
imagination
, dreams and Correct article usage
the imagination
talants
of their child. Correct your spelling
talents
Moreover
, as
I reckon parents should understand their Correct word choice
apply
children
and adjust rules
to character,
because every person is different. Only Remove the comma
apply
personal
approach will bring new healthy, creative and kind Correct article usage
a personal
people
to our society.Submitted by dulskywork on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Consider enriching your essay with more specific examples to illustrate your points. This can make your arguments more compelling and grounded.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the overall flow and cohesion between paragraphs by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This would enhance the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Though your introduction and conclusion are present and provide clear bookends to the essay, endeavor to make them more impactful by succinctly summarizing your main points and the rationale behind your perspective in the conclusion.
task achievement
You've shown a balanced view, considering both sides of the argument, which is excellent for task response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids comprehension.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.