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Writing Samples
Band 7

The three pie charts illustrate degrees granted in four fields at the National University in three decades (1990, 2000, and 2010.)

The three pie charts illustrate degrees granted in four fields at the National University in three decades (1990, 2000, and 2010.)
The given three pie charts show degrees granted in four sectors at the National University in 30 years(1999, 2000, and 2010).
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that computer science
degrees
Change the noun form
degree
show examples
 holders comprised the most over three decades.
Moreover
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, there was a slight fluctuation
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the popularity of medicine and law. First of all, computer science produced excellent students
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a notable percentage. The percentage stood at 30% in the beginning, and it comprised 45% in the end after a gradual increase.
In contrast
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, the business field reduced from 30% to 20%
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and 15%. It was the only segment that failed to recover its rate in the end.
In addition
Linking Words
, the rate of graduate students who majored in medicine and law showed a fluctuation. The proportion of medicine graduates was
initially
Linking Words
 25% in the first year. After a decade, it experienced a slight increase.
Subsequently
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, the rate reverted back to the original 25%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the proportion of people who were granted law was 15% in 1990, and after experiencing a slight dip to 10%, it recovered its share in 2010.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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