Some parents are worried about increasing levels of violence in TV,Video games and other entertainments for Children's leisure. how does this affects the children? how do you think this can be tackled?

#parents #levels #violence #tv #video #games #entertainments #children #leisure

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These days there is an increased level of

violence

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in various sources of entertainment like

video

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games

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movies

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, and so on, and

parents

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are concerned about

this

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because

this

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violence

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negatively impacts minors, but there are ways by which

this

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can be handled.

To begin

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with, by watching

violence

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on different television programmes, web series, and

video

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games

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children

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are becoming aggressive and violent.

For example

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, in mostly

video

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games

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like Roblox, Pubgee and many more,

children

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in order to go to the next level, and to win the game, have to kick, kill, and stab their player, and

this

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gives them a state of pleasure. These things have a detrimental impact on their normal behaviour as they become rude and violent in their real life as well.

Moreover

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, most

movies

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these days have fight scenes with different weapons, and

also

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usage of drugs and

violence

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in them excites these minors and makes them aggressive.

However

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, by adopting some ways, these problems can be tackled. First of all,

parents

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need to monitor their

children

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, they have to be vigilant about the behaviours of their sons and daughters.

Moreover

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, they can restrict screen

time

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and

video

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game playing

time

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also

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all these

games

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and

movies

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have ratings, so

parents

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can even check these ratings, and

accordingly

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stop or restrict their

children

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. Apart from that, they can play and watch

movies

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and

games

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with their

children

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, and if they see any negative impact on them,

then

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they can warn them at the same

time

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Furthermore

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, they can encourage their kids to participate more in indoor and outdoor activities, rather than just spending

time

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watching

movies

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or playing

games

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also

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they can play with them together for their child's stimulation. In conclusion,

although

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with the rising levels of

violence

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in TV shows,

video

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games

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and other entertainment sources,

children

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are experiencing more aggression than ever before, I believe with monitoring by

parents

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and with their proper intervention

this

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problem can be tackled.

Submitted by harleenarora620 on Mon Apr 29 2024

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Logical Structure

Keep focusing on linking your ideas and paragraphs smoothly to enhance readability.

Cohesion

Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.

Supported Main Points

Keep developing your ideas with clear, specific examples to strengthen your argument.

Complete Response

Make sure your essay covers all parts of the prompt comprehensively for a complete response.

Clear & Comprehensive Ideas

Continue to ensure your ideas are easily understandable and comprehensive, enriching them with relevant details where possible.

Relevant & Specific Examples

Use relevant and specific examples to support your main points which adds depth to your argument.

Introduction & Conclusion

You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your response.

Supported Main Points

Your main points are supported and developed through the essay, making your argument more persuasive.

Relevant & Specific Examples

You utilized relevant examples to illustrate your argument, enriching the content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Some parents are worried about increasing levels of violence in TV,Video games and other entertainments for Children's leisure. how does this affects the children? how do you think this can be tackled?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that a significant amount of time and money is allocated to the conservation of wild animals, suggesting that these resources could be better utilized for the benefit of the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

You recently attended a meeting at a hotel when you returned home, you found you had left some important papers at the hotel. Write a letter to the hotel manager. - Explain the problem - Say why the documents are important - Suggest at a solution

The pictures below show how tea is produced. They also illustrate the process of making a cup of tea. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the environment as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.