Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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The disappearance of various types of plants and
animals
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seems to be the most urgent environmental issue in our society.
While
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some people believe that many other environmental
problems
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are in an emergency to deal with.My stance is that biodiversity imbalance is not the most difficult problem in the world and the more important
problems
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such
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as air pollution are an immediate provision. Admittedly, there is evidence suggesting how harmful the disappearance of several plants and
animals
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is
negative
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negatively
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impacted to the
environment
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.
This
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can be seen in the extinction of natural habitats and many animal species
due to
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deforestation and poaching, resulting in the disruption of the balance of nature and destabilization of ecosystems.
Such
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problems
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,
however
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, are caused by maladroit governments that either overlook the importance of the
environment
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or the repercussions of their inaction because of a thriving economy.
Thus
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, the
environment
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could still be protected if the government posed more strict regulations
such
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as hefty fines, sentenced individuals who break the laws to jail and encouraged organizations and citizens to raise funds to open zoos to preserve rare
animals
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or plant more trees. I am convinced that air pollution in cities is the most urgent threat all over the world. It might be caused by vehicle emissions and industrial activities.
For example
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, traffic congestion and the burning of fossil fuels in vehicles release pollutants
such
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as carbon monoxide into the atmosphere.
In addition
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, the process of manufacture and the activity of industry emit pollutants
such
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as sulfur dioxide and nitrogen oxides. These pollutants can,
hence
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, harm the degradation of the
environment
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,causing climate change.
This
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is particularly true in the case of today’s earth where we suffer from various tremendous disasters
such
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as floods, tsunamis, earthquakes and droughts
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climate changes, directly affecting human life.These
problems
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are way far too earnest because governments can not forbid people from transport and halt manufacturing activities cause it will negatively affect the development of the world economy. In conclusion, I believe that the urgency of solving the loss of
animals
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and plants is to protect the world’s biodiversity,
however
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, air pollution is more necessary for governments to tackle and to find solutions since it affects human life.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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Lexical resource and grammatical range
Variety in sentence structure and vocabulary can enhance the complexity of your essay. Try to integrate a wider range of vocabulary and different sentence types to make your writing more engaging.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay provides a clear stance and discusses both views, embedding more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph could strengthen your argument's clarity right from the start.
Task Response
Your essay demonstrates a good deal of knowledge on the topic. To further enhance your argument, consider integrating data, studies, or more specific examples that provide tangible evidence for your claims.
General
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct small inaccuracies and ensure that your message is always clear. Although these inaccuracies are minor, refining them can polish your essay and make your argument even stronger.
Task Achievement
Successfully addressing both viewpoints and providing a reasoned personal opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintaining a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.
Task Response
Incorporating relevant examples to support your arguments, though more specificity could strengthen them further.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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