IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people spend most of their lives living close To where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

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Most individuals live most of their
life
Use synonyms
 In the same area,
which
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in which
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 they were born and grew up
in
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apply
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,
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 because they feel themselves and their neighbours like one big family.
As well as
Linking Words
,
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 settling in the hometown has pros and cons.
To begin
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, numerous people desire to live and settle in their hometowns because the neighbours’ and relatives’ existence is a crucial and valuable thing In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
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.
For example
Linking Words
, when there is a ceremony
such
Linking Words
 as a wedding or a funeral, everyone in the region helps and supports each other.
As a result
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, neighbours are happy for someone's happiness and they are sad for someone’s sadness.
Furthermore
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, the neighbourhood is the backrock of
the
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apply
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relationships and communications.
As a result
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, if you are depressed or need some support, you will find many loyal individuals around you, who advise you faithfully.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
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, the reason for living in a birthplace may be property ownership, which decreases the expenses
in
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of
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 renting in other places.
However
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, growing up in the hometown has many advantages.
For example
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, there are ready Connections and friendships, which serve the time in building new relationships.
In addition
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, there is a supportive and safe environment for parents and
children
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.
For example
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, when we were
children
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, my mother told us that our home key would be with our neighbour
,
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apply
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 If she was outside.
In contrast
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, living in the birthplace is terrible because sometimes, neighbours or relatives are nosy.
Then
Linking Words
 they share with you about your personal
life
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, or they visit without a previous appointment.
In addition
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, living where the individual was born engages them in gossip and rumours.
Finally
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, the dominance of the
traditionals
Correct your spelling
traditions
traditional
 and customs, especially in
the
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apply
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rural communities, may impact
on
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apply
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the development of
life
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 skills.
For instance
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, in rural
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life
Add a comma
life,
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 it's a shame if you apologise for visiting during your exams or your
children
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's exams. In conclusion, people’s hometown is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 safe and supportive environment for raising
children
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some communities where an individual was born have positives.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 they have drawbacks that may be an obstacle on the road of self-development and lead to bad issues.

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Structure
Try to ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. It's beneficial to plan your paragraphs to ensure each has a clear main idea that is expanded upon.
Coherence
For coherence and cohesion, varying your linking phrases and ensuring clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph would help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Depth
You provided a balanced view on the advantages and disadvantages which is great. However, to achieve a higher score, aim to delve deeper into each point with more detailed examples and explanations.
Vocabulary
Be careful with repetition of words and try to use synonyms to demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary. This would enhance the overall readability of your essay.
Balanced Argument
You have effectively provided a balanced view on the topic by exploring both the advantages and disadvantages of living close to where one was born, which is essential for the task requirement.
Introduction/Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively bookend the essay, summarising the topic and your perspective well. This structure helps to provide a clear ‘frame’ for the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
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