Some people spend most of their lives living close To where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?
Most individuals live most of their
life
In the same area, Use synonyms
which
they were born and grew upChange preposition
in which
in
Change preposition
apply
,
because they feel themselves and their neighbours like one big family. Remove the comma
apply
As well as
Linking Words
,
settling in the hometown has pros and cons.
Remove the comma
apply
To begin
, numerous people desire to live and settle in their hometowns because the neighbours’ and relatives’ existence is a crucial and valuable thing In Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
life
. Use synonyms
For example
, when there is a ceremony Linking Words
such
as a wedding or a funeral, everyone in the region helps and supports each other. Linking Words
As a result
, neighbours are happy for someone's happiness and they are sad for someone’s sadness. Linking Words
Furthermore
, the neighbourhood is the backrock of Linking Words
the
relationships and communications. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, if you are depressed or need some support, you will find many loyal individuals around you, who advise you faithfully. Linking Words
Linking Words
Although
, the reason for living in a birthplace may be property ownership, which decreases the expenses Correct word choice
However
in
renting in other places.
Change preposition
of
However
, growing up in the hometown has many advantages. Linking Words
For example
, there are ready Connections and friendships, which serve the time in building new relationships. Linking Words
In addition
, there is a supportive and safe environment for parents and Linking Words
children
. Use synonyms
For example
, when we were Linking Words
children
, my mother told us that our home key would be with our neighbourUse synonyms
,
If she was outside. Remove the comma
apply
In contrast
, living in the birthplace is terrible because sometimes, neighbours or relatives are nosy. Linking Words
Then
they share with you about your personal Linking Words
life
, or they visit without a previous appointment. Use synonyms
In addition
, living where the individual was born engages them in gossip and rumours. Linking Words
Finally
, the dominance of the Linking Words
traditionals
and customs, especially in Correct your spelling
traditions
traditional
the
rural communities, may impact Correct article usage
apply
on
the development of Change preposition
apply
life
skills. Use synonyms
For instance
, in rural Linking Words
Use synonyms
life
it's a shame if you apologise for visiting during your exams or your Add a comma
life,
children
's exams.
In conclusion, people’s hometown is Use synonyms
the
safe and supportive environment for raising Correct article usage
a
children
. Use synonyms
On the other hand
, some communities where an individual was born have positives. Linking Words
Linking Words
Also
they have drawbacks that may be an obstacle on the road of self-development and lead to bad issues.Add a comma
Also,
Submitted by amalalhoury on
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Structure
Try to ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. It's beneficial to plan your paragraphs to ensure each has a clear main idea that is expanded upon.
Coherence
For coherence and cohesion, varying your linking phrases and ensuring clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph would help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Depth
You provided a balanced view on the advantages and disadvantages which is great. However, to achieve a higher score, aim to delve deeper into each point with more detailed examples and explanations.
Vocabulary
Be careful with repetition of words and try to use synonyms to demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary. This would enhance the overall readability of your essay.
Balanced Argument
You have effectively provided a balanced view on the topic by exploring both the advantages and disadvantages of living close to where one was born, which is essential for the task requirement.
Introduction/Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively bookend the essay, summarising the topic and your perspective well. This structure helps to provide a clear ‘frame’ for the reader.