IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country.

The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given graph illustrates the daily intake of three spreads per person between 1981 and 2007 in a country.
Overall
Linking Words
, margarine showed a fluctuation
while
Linking Words
 butter depicts a downward trend after 1986.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, butter consumption stood at 140
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1981. After that, it increased slightly to 160
grams
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it
then
Linking Words
 constantly declined throughout the given time frame. Notably, it dropped dramatically in 1991, by 60
grams
Use synonyms
. When it comes to the figure for margarine, it experienced a minor decline from around 100
grams
Use synonyms
 to 80
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1986.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it recovered its amount and revelled out for the following 5 years.
Then
Linking Words
, it gradually dropped and reached 40
grams
Use synonyms
 in the end.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in 1996,
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 product called "Low fat & reduced spreads"
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
 released and gained enormous popularity in the first 5 years: the consumption rose from above 20
grams
Use synonyms
 to 80
grams
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 it decreased marginally in 2007, it was the most popular spread among 3 sectors.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words grams with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • spreads
  • daily
  • per person
  • 1981 to 2007
  • country
  • increase
  • decrease
  • stable
  • relatively
  • steadily
  • significant
  • consumed
  • gap
  • narrowed
  • overtake
  • popular choice
What to do next:
Look at other essays: