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Band 6.5

Nowadays more and more people consume fast food on a regular basis. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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21st Century People live unrealistic hectic and fast lives. Developing technology brings about changing lifestyles. It seems society impacts
food
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 culture
such
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 as fast feed needs more
time
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 and belongs with some benefits and drawbacks. First of all, there is an advantage it wasn't limited by distance and
time
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. Many fast
food
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 brands manage for 24 hours 365 and come out the
food
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 in 5 minutes. And
then
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, it does not need to learn table manners and meals way too much bothering, almost all fast
food
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 is packaged for easy
grab hands
Wrong verb form
grabbing
show examples
.
In addition
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, everyone can enjoy without division of ability and status. Salty sweety a pungent flavour that everyone is satisfied fascinates the crowd.
Nevertheless
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, the downside is that it's very fatal. fast eating is harmful to physical
health
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 and mental
health
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. Do not give enough digestion
time
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, and do not have enough chewing
time
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 cause an increasing possibility of indigestion.
In addition
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, having lots of fat or fried ingredients increases blood sugar, and cholesterol levels will increase gradually. that's why people become obese patients.
According to
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 many clinical results, cooking slow
food
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 helps save the sentiments of humans.
also
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, relieves emotional development and stress through the patience and concentration we get
while
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 touching the ingredients we eat and waiting for the completion process.
However
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, fast
food
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 is similar to simple avidity and addiction.
This
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 is because the first thing to do is to fill your stomach without thinking about the process of cooking.
To conclude
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, even though both options may have advantages and disadvantages. Everyone can enjoy a meal without conditions but it does not help good
health
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 and learning table manners. In my perspective, people have to try to find slow
food
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 than fast
food
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 for their physical
health
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 and mental
health
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.

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What works well

2
Introduction and Conclusion

You successfully introduced the topic and provided a conclusion that reflects on the main points discussed, showing a good structure.

Task Response

Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of fast food consumption.

Improvement Suggestions

4
structure

Ensure your essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout. While you've made an effort to organize your ideas, enhancing the flow and connections between them could improve the clarity and impact of your argument.

examples

Work on developing your examples further. Incorporating more detailed and specific examples to support your points will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

cohesion

Be mindful of your essay's coherence. It's important that each paragraph logically flows from one to the next. Making use of cohesive devices (like transition words) more effectively can help achieve this.

balance

You've addressed the task comprehensively, laying out both sides of the argument. To refine your response, try to balance the development of both advantages and disadvantages with equal depth and detail.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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