IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Nowadays most of the parents are working which lead to harmful effects on their children. what are the causes and result.

#parents #effects #children
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As we see today world the number of
parent
Use synonyms
 working is higher than before it
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to bad effects on their
children
Use synonyms
. Nowadays the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population growth in every country
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing than before,
therefore
Linking Words
 it
cause
Verb problem
has
show examples
 lots of effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 parents
such
Linking Words
 as
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of living
are more
Verb problem
is
show examples
 higher which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to harmful effects.
Use synonyms
Parent
Fix the agreement mistake
Parents
show examples
 have less time to take care
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
children
Use synonyms
, second
children
Use synonyms
 lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
love and attention from
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 parents. I will summarize more of two main
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 and give
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 in the next paragraph. the side effect that
Use synonyms
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 have limited time to take care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
childrent
Correct your spelling
children
 might lead to bad effect
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
as we see because of cost of
leaving
Verb problem
living
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing
Use synonyms
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 have to work outside than
ususal
Correct your spelling
usual
. Compare
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 working rather than being
housewife
Fix the agreement mistake
housewives
show examples
 is
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 rate than before.
Use synonyms
Parent
Fix the agreement mistake
Parents
show examples
 cannot take care of
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 which can cause to
habit
Wrong verb form
habits
show examples
 of
children
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
Submitted by fonnfahh2402 on

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Task Achievement
Try to complete your thoughts and sentences, especially at the end of the essay.
Task Achievement
Focus on providing more detailed and specific examples to support your points more effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on developing a clearer introduction and conclusion to strengthen the essay's structure.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is developed cohesively with supporting details.
Content
Identifying important issues related to the topic such as the impact of parental working conditions on children.
Structure
Initial attempt to structure the essay with an introduction, supporting paragraphs, and an attempt at a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dual-income households
  • parental supervision
  • emotional neglect
  • behavioral issues
  • technology dependence
  • family bonding
  • irregular routines
  • academic support
  • compensatory behavior
  • materialism
  • over-gifting
  • independence
  • after-school programs
  • extended family
  • educational development
What to do next:
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