Nowadays most of the parents are working which lead to harmful effects on their children. what are the causes and result.

#parents #effects #children

As we see today world the number of

parent

working is higher than before it

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

to bad effects on their

children

. Nowadays the

number of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

population growth in every country

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

increasing than before,

therefore

cause

Verb problem

has

show examples

lots of effects

Change preposition

show examples

parents

such

cost

Correct article usage

the cost

show examples

of living

are more

Verb problem

show examples

higher which

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to harmful effects.

Parent

Fix the agreement mistake

Parents

show examples

have less time to take care

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

children

, second

children

lack

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

love and attention from

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

parents. I will summarize more of two main

point

Change to a plural noun

points

show examples

and give

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

in the next paragraph. the side effect that

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

have limited time to take care

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

childrent

Correct your spelling

children

might lead to bad effect

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

as we see because of cost of

leaving

Verb problem

living

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

increasing

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

have to work outside than

ususal

Correct your spelling

usual

. Compare

percentage

Add an article

the percentage

show examples

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

working rather than being

housewife

Fix the agreement mistake

housewives

show examples

high

Correct word choice

higher

show examples

rate than before.

Parent

Fix the agreement mistake

Parents

show examples

cannot take care of

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

they

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

which can cause to

habit

Wrong verb form

habits

show examples

children

such

Submitted by fonnfahh2402 on Fri Apr 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Try to complete your thoughts and sentences, especially at the end of the essay.

Task Achievement

Focus on providing more detailed and specific examples to support your points more effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on developing a clearer introduction and conclusion to strengthen the essay's structure.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is developed cohesively with supporting details.

Content

Identifying important issues related to the topic such as the impact of parental working conditions on children.

Structure

Initial attempt to structure the essay with an introduction, supporting paragraphs, and an attempt at a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

156 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

dual-income households
parental supervision
emotional neglect
behavioral issues
technology dependence
family bonding
irregular routines
academic support
compensatory behavior
materialism
over-gifting
independence
after-school programs
extended family
educational development

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Nowadays, people have different views about where is the better place for inhibiting. While some believe that living in their city is better, others argued that counteryside is better for living. However, I side with the latter view because living in the villages is better for strength than city life.
7.5
band
In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?
It is true that in some places of the world, the number of athletes who use dope is increasing considerably due to the narrow competition between them and, of course, because of their ambitions of winning. This issue could lead to a multitude of negative consequences. However, measures can definitely be taken to tackle this problem.
<4
band
Government investment in the arts,such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree.
Although some individual supposed that there is a waste of money for government to invest in arts, such as music and theatre, another group of people think government should use the money in public service instead. I am in complete agreement with the government must invest this money in public services as there are still lacking of public services such as education, healthcare and infrastructure for the functioning in the society.
5
band
Some people believe that because of modern technology, it is no longer necessary for people to learn handwriting skills, while others think that handwriting is still an important skill.
Some individuals think that because of the technology development, handwriting abilities are no longer as important as were, whilst others assume that handwriting skills are still vital. In my opinion, nowadays handwriting skills are not necessary and I will try to prove this.
4.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
In recent years,in many cities,more and more people becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.Really,even in my hometown-small city named Zharkent happen it.This situation has two big questions what are the reasons for this?and,How can people research this?In this essay, l am going to give you my opinion about it.

Nowadays most of the parents are working which lead to harmful effects on their children. what are the causes and result.

Fully explain your ideas

It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

Government investment in the arts,such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that because of modern technology, it is no longer necessary for people to learn handwriting skills, while others think that handwriting is still an important skill.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?