An increasing number of professional such as doctor and teacher are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. what problem does this cause and what are the solutions?
Presently, the number of graduating
people
such
as doctors
or teachers is unfortunately migrated to other countries
or other developed cities for an occupation. Therefore
, in this
case, someone likes and someone dislikes. Because of the reason poorer families young people
are losing their educational knowledge. In this
essay, I will discuss cases and solutions.
On the one sosolution
, nowadays a number of higher occupations have migrated to other Correct your spelling
hand
countries
with high salaries. therefore
, Correct article usage
the motherland
motherland
education Change noun form
motherland's
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
decreases
. Wrong verb form
decreasing
For example
, a test conducted by tThe
World Health Organization they are considering that in Correct your spelling
the
countries
more and more people
are dying because of not enough doctors
. For
this
reason, their motherland had poorly educated people
and they are a variety of questions came up.
On the other hand
, as a motor solution, this
government should give to the higher salary of doctors
or teachers. therefore
they will decrease traveling
to another country. Not only that Change the spelling
travelling
also
have to provide them with fully equipped medical equipment. Because of this
reason, people
are they do not go to other countries
for example
. Developed cocountries
like KuwaitCorrect your spelling
countries
,
and Dubai will give their children a good education and comprehensive medical services for their children to give them. By Remove the comma
apply
this
they can be competent citizens. By Add a comma
this,
this
, they can produce doctors
and teachers.
In conclusion, according to
the above doctors
who teach they do not go to any countries
. Because the government gives them all the pasilits.Submitted by ma.ushamanu1024 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps in presenting your arguments in a more organized manner.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to help link your ideas more clearly. However, make sure they are appropriate and not overused.
examples
Ensure your examples are specific and directly support the points you are making. Vague or overly general examples are less effective.
clarity
Work on the precision and clarity of your language to more effectively convey your ideas.
grammar
Revise the grammar and spelling to avoid errors that can hinder comprehension.
taskResponse
You have addressed both parts of the prompt: the problems and solutions related to the migration of professionals.
examples
You attempted to provide examples to support your points, which is a good practice.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!